Don’t Put it Off --Author unknown Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.' When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. Now... go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to... not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand why I sent this to you. Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask 'How are you?' Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi'? When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift... Thrown away... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over. 'Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance.' Where Are the Nine? by Dick Innes Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?"1 "You probably read about Paddy who was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. "Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey. "Miraculously, a parking place appeared. "Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one." While we make jokes about such things, I wonder how often I pray, God answers, and I forget to say thank you ... or fail to even see that God has answered my prayer because it wasn't in the way that I wanted or expected it to be. The fact is, when my prayer is sincere from the heart, God always hears and answers it. Sometimes the answer is "Yes," sometimes it is "No," and sometimes it is "Wait a while." And sometimes it is in a way that is totally different from what I expected. The important thing is that we always thank God for hearing and answering our prayers regardless of the way in which they are answered because God always knows what is best for us. Let's not be like the ten lepers whom Jesus healed and only one came back to acknowledge and thank Jesus for healing him. Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you always hear and answer my prayers in one way or another. May I always have a grateful heart and learn to thank you regardless of the way in which you answer my prayer. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen." She Lied --Author unknown One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No." The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No." The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?'' "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband? The Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said "no" to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said "no" to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said "yes," you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said "yes" to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him. The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it. My father is the pilot --Author unknown A priest was on a long flight home after a Conference. The first warning of approaching problems came when the ‘Fasten Your Seat Belts’ sign flashed on. After a while a calm voice said, “We shall not be serving beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please make sure your seat belt is fastened.” The priest looked around the aircraft and saw that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice on the intercom said, “We are so sorry that we are unable to serve meals at this time… The turbulence is still ahead of us.” And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightning lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was tossed around like a cork in a celestial ocean. One moment it was lifted on terrific currents of air, the next it fell as if about to crash. As the priest looked around he could see that nearly all the passengers were alarmed – except one little girl! She sat calmly, feet tucked under her, looking at pictures in a book, oblivious of the turbulence around her. Sometimes she would close her eyes, and then she would go back to her book. The storm blew over. When the plane landed and the passengers were disembarking, the priest approached the little girl and asked her why she was not afraid like the other passengers. The little girl replied, “Cause my Daddy’s the pilot and he’s taking me home.” There are many storms that buffet us…Physical, mental, financial, domestic and other storms that can darken our skies and throw us into turmoil. Like the little girl, let us always remember: Our Father is the Pilot. He is in control… He will take us Home… Don’t worry! Did you Know ?
Just for Laughs The First Stone Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. One of the crowd responded, "This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" "Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown out from the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head. "Aw, c'mon, Dad ... " Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!" |