10 January 2016

posted 7 Jan 2016, 22:24 by C S Paul
10 January 2016

Quotes to Inspire
  • "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." — Harriet Beecher Stowe
  • "Ninety percent of all those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit." — Paul J. Meyer
  • "To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge." — Benjamin Disraeli
  • "You are the one that has to make it happen." — Anon.
  • "Don't sacrifice your future on the altar of the immediate." — Anon.
  • “Success is the ability to embrace a worthwhile goal and employ all of your powers for the achievement of that goal.” — Anon.
  • In the end, life lived to its fullest is its own Ultimate Gift - Jim Stovall
  • "Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees." — J. Willard Marriott, Founder of Marriott Hotels
  • "It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." — Edmund Hillary
  • "I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders." — Jewish Proverb

Bounced Check Letter

- Unknown
 
Below is an actual letter sent to a bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. Press buttons as follows:

1.- To make an appointment to see me.
2.- To query a missing payment.
3.- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4.- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. -To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6.- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7.- To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client


From Russia with love
Roger Darlington

When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, the communications trade union for which I then worked received several delegations from the emergent nations and we ran courses for them on how market economies operated and how free collective bargaining was conducted. As is my practice when lecturing to foreign audiences, I had my visual aids translated into the vernacular, so I used overhead slides in Russian, although of course I spoke in English and had an interpreter.

I cannot read the cyrillic alphabet and know very little Russian, so I just worked through my slides in order. However, there came a point when I could tell from the statistical data on the latest slide that, for the previous ten minutes, I had been speaking to the wrong slide. British students would have pointed this out in seconds, but none of the Russians had said a word.

I was perplexed and asked why nobody had told me that I had been speaking to the wrong slide. Eventually one brave soul volunteered an answer and the interpreter translated: "In our country, no one challenges the teacher".

Believe what you feel

 by Mitch Albom

On this day, Morrie says that he has an exercise for us to try. We are to stand, facing away from our classmates, and fall backward, relying on another student to catch us. Most of us are uncomfortable with this, and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping ourselves. We laugh in embarrassment.

Finally, one student, a thin, quiet, dark-haired girl whom I notice almost always wears bulky, white fisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes, leans back, and does not flinch, like one of those Lipton tea commercials where the model splashes into the pool.

For a moment, I am sure she is going to thump on the floor. At the last instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders and yanks her up harshly.

“Whoa!” several students yell. Some clap. Morrie finally smiles. “You see”, he says to the girl, “you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see. You have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too – even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

Drawing Heaven

Akiane Kramarik, Child-prodigy

I caught a video on YouTube about a CNN report showcasing the story of a very gifted 12-year-old artist named Akiane Kramarik. There have been several young gifted artists in the past, but Akiane is rather fascinating.

What makes Akiane so unique is not so much how well she paints, but the subject of her work and her inspiration. When she was 4 she had many visions of meeting God. He told her that she needs to paint and help the less fortunate. He also noted that he’d be there to guide her along the way.

When she has a vision, she doesn't even know what the 'meaning' is. She says she sees millions of colors with her visions of heaven that our eyes haven't even seen yet on earth.

What makes her story even more bizarre is when you discover her mother is an Atheist and her father is a recovering Catholic. Religion was never discussed in the house and the kids are all homeschooled. Even her little brother is a talented, budding artist. Watch this short CNN Report below (3:22 min.):

Akiane was born in Mount Morris, Illinois. She is primarily a self-taught painter, but she states that she is taught by God. She started drawing at age four, painting at six, and writing poetry at seven. Her first completed self-portrait sold for $10,000.00. A large portion of the money generated from sales is donated by Akiane to charities. Her art, which depicts life, landscape, and people, is inspired by her visions of heaven, and her personal connection with the Christian God.

Here are some more interesting facts about Akaine...

• Born underwater at home, on July 9, 1994, in Mount Morris, Illinois, to the atheistic stay-at-home Lithuanian homemaker mother, and an American father, chef and dietary manager.

• Lived in Illinois, Missouri, Colorado and Idaho, experiencing poverty and affluence.

• Having attended both public and private schools, now is home-schooled with her four brothers, Delfini 18, Jean Lu 16, Ilia 8, and Aurelius 2 years old.

• Began drawing at 4, and painting at 6, teaching herself and learning mostly from her own keen observation and study.

• Speaks four languages: Lithuanian, Russian, English and Sign Language

• At 4, had a life-changing spiritual transformation, bringing the family to God.

• At age 7 began writing poetry and aphorisms.

• Her poems often arrive fully conceived.

• The inspiration for her art and literature comes from her visions, dreams, observations of people, nature and God.

• Paints from imagination, reference materials and models.

• Favorite size canvases: 48 x 60 inches.

• Considers her style: Akianism -a universal blend of realism and imaginism

• Wants people to find hope in her paintings.

• Has the same goal with each painting: to be an inspiration for others and to be the gift to God.

• Favorite medium: acrylics for full figures, and oil paints for large portraits.

• Rises at 4 a.m. five-six days a week to get ready to paint in the studio and write; works for about 4-5 hours each day.

• Often works over a hundred to two hundred hours on a painting, producing 8 to 20 paintings a year.

• Usually makes many sketches before painting.

• Works on one painting at a time.

• Favorite subject: people and spiritual subjects.

• Has "start-to-finish" demonstration videos of her painting.

• Favorite activities and hobbies: art, poetry, piano, reading and helping people.

• Likes about herself: "sensitivity to people".

• Does not like about herself: "impatience".

• Assesses her own character: "daring heart and cautious mind".

• Her biggest wish: "that everyone would love God and one another".

• Her life goal: to share her love for God and people around the world.

Just for Laughs

The Dead Church 

A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to come to his first services. 
       
The following Sunday the church was all but empty. Accordingly, the Pastor placed a notice in the local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it was everyone's duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon, the notice said. 
       
Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the "funeral." In front of the pulpit, they saw a closed coffin, smothered in flowers. After the Pastor delivered the eulogy, he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their final respects to their dead church. 
       
Filled with curiosity as to what would represent the corpse of a "dead church," all the people eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each "mourner" peeped into the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look. 
       
In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror.


The Shipwreck Survivor 

One balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship espied smoke coming from one of three huts on an uncharted island. 
       
      Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, "I'm so glad       you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than five years!" 
       
      The captain replied, "If you're all alone on the island why do I see THREE huts." 
       
      The survivor said, "Oh. We'll, I live in one, and go to church in another." 
       
      "What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain. 
       
      "That's where I USED to go to church."


Did You Know ?

  • In 1924 a Ford automobile cost $265. 
  • The word 'automobile' is a blend of French words 'auto' and 'mobile' which means self and moving respectively. 
  • Chevrolet Imphala was one such car that had enjoyed a breaking sales record of more than one million in 1965 
  • The Most expensive Car ever sold is 1931 Bugatti Royale Kellner Coupe with price of  $87,00,000.
  • First Car Radio was invented by Paul Gavin in 1929.
  • Red Cars Are prohibited in Shanghai,China.
  • Being used in movie Gone in 60 seconds, 1967 Shelby Mustang GT-500 is recognizes as one of the most famous cars ever. 
  • 1906: Fisher and partners begin searching for speedway-suitable property. They?focus first on the resort town of ?French Lick, in southern Indiana. The French Lick 500: It’s got a nice ring to it.
  • 2 December 1908: The partners acquire 328 acres of farmland five miles northwest of downtown Indianapolis for $72,000. The basic 2.5-mile track design—developed with New ?York construction engineer Park T. Andrews—endures to this day.
  • The first steam car was invented in 1769 by Nicolas-Joseph Cugnot in France. 
  • The first gasoline automobile was made in 1885 by Karl Friedrich of Germany. 
  • The car that sold more than one million units in 1965, setting a record that even stands till date is the Chevrolet Impala. 
  • Tata Nano is now the cheapest car in the world and is expected to out-sell the Maruti 800 
  • The first auto insurance policy was purchased in in 1897 in Westfield, MA.

  • Windshield wipers were introduced by a woman. 
  • An airbag moves up to 4500 mph within a second when triggered. A force of 200g is generated. They are designed to explode at an impact speed of 19 mph. The bag inflates within 40 milliseconds of a crash. 
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