SUNDAY MAGAZINE



SUNDAY MAGAZINE

 Bringing you a selection of Quotes, Inspiring Short Stories, Humor, Well known Classics in Serial form, Matters of general interest, and of course, Articles contributed by YOU.

Your valuable comments on the content and suggestions for improvement of "Sunday Magazine" and the website in general, will be very much appreciated.

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5 April 2020

posted 3 Apr 2020, 21:06 by C S Paul   [ updated 4 Apr 2020, 01:33 ]


5 April 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." — Albert Einstein, Scientist
  • "You mend your automobile on the spot when something breaks. Don't let your life be going on with something crippled in it." John Wanamaker
  • "Every artist was first an amateur." Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • "Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value." Albert Einstein
  • "Unbelief puts our circumstance between us and God, but faith puts God between us and our circumstances."  F.B. Meyer
  • "Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of God no matter what the conflict." — Unknown 
  • "Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try." Dennis DeYoung
  • "Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value."  Albert Einstein
  • "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Indira Gandhi
  • "He that cannot pray, let him go to sea, and there he will learn." — John Trapp
  • "Thought is creative. You create your entire life with your thoughts, hour by hour and minute by minute." — Brian Tracy
  • "A great flame follows a little spark." — Dante Alighieri
  • "Success is never ending, failure is never final." — Dr. Robert Schuller
  • "We don't love others when we find them beautiful, we find others beautiful when we love them." — Josei Toda
  • "Great love and great achievements involve great risks." — Tenzin Gyatso
  • "What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give." — P.D. James
  • "If everything in our youth were easy, with no challenges, we would not be prepared to face the grand challenge of life as an adult." — Ray Lammie
  • "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." — Thomas A. Edison
Oatmeal Kisses

The baby is teething-the children are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat dinner without him. Okay, one of these days you'll shout: "Why don't you grow up and act your age!" and they will, or "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!"...and they won't.

You'll straighten up their rooms neat and tidy...bumper stickers discarded...spreads tucked and smooth ... toys displayed on the shelves...hangars in the closet...animals caged, and you'll say out loud: "Now I want it to stay that way!" and it will...You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in it 
and you'll say, "Now there's a meal for a company." and you'll eat it alone.

You'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around, no pantomimes, no demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?"...and you'll have it. No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti, no more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent, no more dandelion bouquets, no more iron-on patches, knotted shoestrings, or tight moots.

Imagine, a lipstick with a point, no babysitter for New Year's Eve, washing clothes only once a week, no P.T.A. meetings, carpools, blaring radios, Christmas presents out of toothpicks and paste. No more "Wet Oatmeal Kisses". No more toothfairy giggles in the dark, or knees to heal.

Only a voice crying..."Why don't you grow up?"... and the silence echoing ......."I did."
 
I Hope You Dance

Not too long ago I had "one of those days." I was feeling pressure from a writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple days and the toilet was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee teller processing my deposit had to start over three times. I swung by the supermarket to pick up a few things and the lines were serpentine.

By the time I got home, I was frazzled and sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for dinner.

Deciding on Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, I grabbed a can opener, cranked open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the store. Nix the soup idea. Setting the can aside, I went to plan B, which was leftover baked beans. I grabbed a Tupperware container from the fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn't a picky eater, but even HE won't eat baked beans that look like caterpillars.

Really frustrated now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as foolproof as it is nutrition free: hot dogs and potato chips. Retrieving a brand new bag of chips from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and gave a hearty tug. The bag didn't open. I tried again. Nothing happened. I took a breath, doubled my muscle, and gave the bag a hearty wrestle. With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top to bottom.

Chips flew sky high. I was left holding the bag, and it was empty.

It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!" My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Within minutes he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, where he surveyed the damage: an open can of soup, melting groceries, moldy baked beans and on quivering wife standing ankle deep in potato chips.

My husband did the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying leap, landing flat-footed in the pile of chips. And then he began to stomp and dance and twirl, grinding those chips into my linoleum in the process! I stared. I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile. Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. 
I, too, took a leap onto the chips. And then I danced.

Now I'll be the first to admit that my husband's response wasn't the one I was looking for. But the truth is, it was exactly what I needed. I didn't need a cleanup crew as much as I needed an attitude adjustment, and the laughter from that rather funky moment provided just that.

So now I have a question for you, and it's simply this: Has God ever stomped on your chips? I know that, in my life, there have been plenty of times when I've gotten myself into frustrating situations and I've cried out for help, all the while hoping God would show up with a celestial broom and clean up the mess I've made of things.

What often happens instead is that God dances on my chips, answering my prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the manner that is best for me after all. Sometimes I can see right away that God's response was the best one. Sometimes I have to wait weeks of months before I begin to understand how and why God answered a particular prayer the way He did. There are even some situations that, years later, I'm still trying to understand. I figure God will fill me in sooner or later, either this side of Heaven or beyond.

Do I trust Him? Even when He's answering my prayers in a way that is completely different from my expectations, even when He's dancing and stomping instead of sweeping and mopping-can I embrace what He's offering?

Can I let His joy adjust my attitude? Am I going to stand on the sidelines and sulk, or am I willing to learn the steps of the dance He's dancing with my needs in mind?

I'll be honest with you: Sometimes I sulk. Sometimes I dance. I'm working on doing more of the latter than the former. I guess the older I get the more I realize that He really does know what He's doing. He loves me and I can trust Him.

Even when the chips are down.

Provided by Free Christian Content.org


You Have My Place

One day, a man went to visit a church. He arrived early parked his car, and got out. Another car pulled up near him, and the driver told him, "I always park there. You took my place!" The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat, and sat down. A young lady from the church approached him and stated, That's my seat! You took my place!" 

The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing. After Sunday School, the visitor went into the church sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit. You took my place!" 

The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment, but still said nothing. Later, as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood, and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?" 

The visitor replied, "I took your place." 

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

Just Push
P= Pray U= Until S= Something H= Happens


A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might.

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down; his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind: "you have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved. "Thus, giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."

And that is what he planned to do, but he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push.

And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. 

Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. Now, My friend, I will now move the rock."

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains.

When everything seems to go wrong ... just P.U.S.H.!

When the job gets you down ... just P.U.S.H.!

When people don't react the way you think they should... just P.U.S.H.!

When your money looks "gone" and the bills are due... just P.U.S.H!

When people just don't understand you ... just P.U.S.H.!

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

Did You Know
  • 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.
  • Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
  • Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
  • Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson", Humphrey Bogart NEVER said "Play it again, Sam" in Casablanca, and they NEVER said "Beam me up, Scotty" on Star Trek.
  • 90% of bird species are monogamous; only 3% of animals are.
  • 90% of New York City cab drivers are recently arrived immigrants.
  • 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.
  • 98% of the weight of water is made up from oxygen.
  • 99% of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as jack-o-lanterns.
  • A full-grown pumpkin has about 15 miles of roots. A ghost writer pens an anonymous book. 
  • A giant squid has eyes that can grow up to 20 inches in diameter. (Now think of how big your computer screen is..)
  • A giraffe and rat can go longer without water than a camel can. 
  • A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue. i know some people who can do some amazing stuff too.
  • A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.  
Just for laughs

Gonna be a bear

In this life I’m a woman.  In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.  When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six months.  I could deal with that. 

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal with that too.

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (how are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cure, cuddly cubs.  I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.  If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.  He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Kenny

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.  The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.  The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad  news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that.  I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."

The farmer said, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."

Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny, "Sure I can.  Watch me.  I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny,  "I raffled him off.  I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."

Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny, "Just the guy who won.  So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.

29 March 2020

posted 27 Mar 2020, 23:12 by C S Paul

29 March 2020
Quotes that Inspire
  • "You are wise when you learn from your mistakes. You are wiser still when you learn from others' mistakes." — Rob Acker 
  • "The experience of resistance and frustration is often an indication that you are doing the wrong thing." — Brian Tracy 
  • "Every person is working for him or herself.— Brian Tracy 
  • "He who never walks except where he sees other men's tracks will make no discoveries." — Unknown 
  • "Success is a marathon, not a sprint." — Unknown 
  • And, "If it's going to be, it will be up to me." — Unknown 
  • "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" — God (Jeremiah 32:27, NIV).
  • "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" — God (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV).
  • "Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." — William Blake
  • "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." — David Lloyd George
  • "I would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately triumph than to triumph in a cause that will ultimately fail." — Jim Elliot 
  • "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." — Chinese proverb 

Laughter the best medicine


Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. 


When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy and amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. 


Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.


Laughter is strong medicine for mind and body.

Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert.

With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health.

An Unspoken Bible

 Author Unknown

His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This was literally is wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kind of esoteric and very, very bright. He became a Christian recently while attending college. 

Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and So Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. 

The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat. By now people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything. Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit and, when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. (Although perfectly acceptable behavior at a college fellowship, trust me, this had never happened in this church before! 

By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, an Elder is slowly making his way toward Bill.

Now the Elder is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying To themselves that you can't blame him for what he's going to do. 

How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor? It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy. The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man's cane.

All eyes are focused on him. You can't even hear anyone breathing. The minister can't even preach the sermon until the Elder does what he has to do. And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with him so he won't be alone.  

Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says, "What I'm about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget. Be careful how you live. You may be the only Bible some people will ever read." 


The Burden

Author Unknown

"Why was my burden so heavy?" I slammed the bedroom door and leaned against it. Is there no rest from this life? I wondered.I stumbled to my bed and dropped onto it, pressing my pillow around my ears to shut out the noise of my existence. "Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake up!" With a deep sob I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the blackness that came over me. 


Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on its source: The figure of a man standing before a cross. "My child," the person asked, "why did you want to come to Me before I am ready to call you?" "Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't go on. You see how hard it is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry it anymore." "But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens upon Me, because I care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." "I knew You would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?" "My child, everyone in the world has a burden. 


Perhaps you would like to try a different one?" "I can do that?" He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try any of these." 


All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each was labeled with a name. "There's Joan's," I said. Joan was married to a wealthy businessman. She lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three daughters in the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to church in her Cadillac when my car was broken. "Let me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought. The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders. I sank my knees beneath its weight. "Take it off!" I said. ""What makes it so heavy?" "Look inside." I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was a figure of her Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak. 


"Joan, you'll never be good enough for my son," it began. "He never should have married you. You're a terrible mother to my grandchildren..." I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another. It was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged from the surgery that had failed to resolve her epilepsy. A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been convicted of killing a police officer. "I see why her burden 

is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling and helping others. I didn't realize...." 


"Would you like to try another?" He asked quietly. 


I tested several. Paula's felt heavy: She was raising four small boys without a father. Debra's did too: A childhood of sexual abuse and a marriage of emotional abuse. When I Came to Ruth's burden, I didn't even try. I knew that inside I would find arthritis, old age, a demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a nursing home. 


"They're all too heavy, Lord" I said. ""Give back my own." As I lifted the familiar load once again, It seemed much lighter than the others. "Lets look inside" He said. I turned away, holding it close. 


"That's not a good idea," I said. "Why?" "There's a lot of junk in there." "Let Me see." The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I opened my burden. He pulled out a brick. "Tell me about this one." 


"Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in some countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no insurance, and when the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired of dressing them in hand-me-downs." "My child, I will supply all of your needs... and your children's. I've given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that expensive clothing doesn't make a person valuable in My sight." 


Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy. "And this?" He asked. "Andrew..." I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden. "But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two. He makes me so tired. He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to think 

I abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday I may really hurt him...." "My child," He said, "If you trust Me, I will renew your strength, if you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give you patience." 


Then He took some pebbles from my burden. 


"Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh. "Those are small. But they're important. I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look nice. I can't afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and can't stay on a diet. I hate all my clothes. I hate the way I look!" "My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look at your heart. By My Spirit you can gain self-control to lose weight. But your beauty should not come from outward appearance. Instead, it should come from your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in My sight." My burden now seemed lighter than before. "I guess I can handle it now" I said. 


"There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last brick." "Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it." "My child, give it to Me." Again .


His voice compelled me. He reached out His hand, and for the first time I saw the ugly wound. "But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, so.....Lord! What happened to Your hands? They're so scarred!" 


No longer focused on my burden, I looked for the first time into His face. In His brow were ragged scars-as though someone had pressed thorns into His flesh. "Lord," I whispered. "What happened to You?" 


His loving eyes reached into my soul. "My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs to Me. I bought it." "How?" "With My blood." 


"But why, Lord?" "Because I have loved you with an everlasting love. Give it to Me." 


I placed the filthy brick into His wounded palm. It contained all the dirt and evil of my life: my pride, my selfishness, the depression that constantly tormented me. He turned to the cross and hurled my .brick into the pool of blood at its base. It hardly made a ripple. 


"Now, My child, you need to go back. I will be with you always. When you are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and show you things you cannot imagine now." "Yes, Lord, I will call on You." 


I reached to pick up my burden. 


"You may leave that here if you wish. You see all these burdens? They are the ones that others have left at My feet. Joan's, Paula's, Debra's, Ruth's..... As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade. Yet I heard Him whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." 


Reality of Life


This is a story of four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was some important work that had to be done, and Everybody was sure that 
Somebody would do it. 

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because of this, since it was Everybody's job. 

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody understood that Everybody wouldn't do it. 

It ended with Everybody blaming Somebody as Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Oooops.............Got it? ;)

If You Didn't  Read Again

In Case I'm Gone

— Source Unknown
One day a man's wife died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the husband was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't anymore.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye and say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage, children with bad report cards, dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep—like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them? It's so very important to let every one of your friends know you love them, even if you think they don't love you back.

For one day we will all be gone.
       

Opportunity Comes to Pass ...

As Jesus said, "As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work."  

Once upon a time a city dweller moved to the country and bought a farm with a cow. In no time his cow went dry. When he told this to the neighbouring farmer, the farmer was surprised as this cow had always given lots of milk.

The city man was surprised, too, and told the other farmer how considerate he had been of the cow. He said, "I never took more milk than I needed. If I only needed a quart, that's all I took. If I didn't need any milk, I didn't milk her that day!

"What the man didn't realize is that, to keep a cow producing milk, he needed to take what she had to give.That's kind of like life, isn't it? If we don't use the gifts we have, we may lose them. 

And if we don't take the opportunities for service, for growth, for spiritual enrichment while we have them, we may lose these opportunities too.

Remember: "Opportunity comes to pass, not to pause!"


DID YOU KNOW ?

  • 1 in 5,000 north Atlantic lobsters are born bright blue.
  • 1 kg (2.2 pounds) of lemons contain more sugar than 1 kg of strawberries.
  • 1,525,000,000 miles of telephone wire are strung across the Unites States.
  • 1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day. In Discovery Channel, its a quart.
  • 10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.
  • 10% of human dry weight comes from bacteria
  • 11% of the world is left-handed.
  • 2 and 5 are the only prime numbers that end in 2 or 5.
  • 203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.
  • 22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next hour.
  • 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.
  • 25% of a human's bones are in its feet.
  • 259200 people die every day.

Just for laughs

God's Will

A farmer was on his way to town to buy a cow. On the way he stopped for a brief visit with his neighbor who was a Christian. 

"Where are you going today," the neighbor asked. 

"I'm going to town to buy a cow." 

Well actually, the Christian neighbor instructed, you ought to say, "the Lord willing, I'm going to town to buy a cow." 

God's Will "What do you mean, I have the money, they have the cow, I'm going to town to 
buy a cow." 

With that, he resumed his walk. Just before reaching the town, the farmer was mugged, his money stolen, and he was left unconscious by the side of the road. When he finally came too, and realizing all his money was gone, he started to limp back towards home. 

The Christian neighbor saw him coming, and hastened to help. After hearing the story, the Christian farmer asked, "So now what are you going to do?"

"Well, the Lord willing, I'm going home."

A Timely Help 

An old man lived alone. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work and his only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply: "FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the entire garden, that's where I buried the money." At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was, "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

22 March 2020

posted 21 Mar 2020, 07:43 by C S Paul

22 March 2020
Quotes that Inspire

  • Generosity begins with our recognition of our debt to others. – Unknown 
  • If all difficulties were known at the onset of a long journey, most of us would never start out at all. - Dan Rather 
  • We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.– Unknown 
  • We can wait for circumstances to make up their minds, or we can decide to act, and in acting, live. – Unknown
  • To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult of all. - Johann von Goethe 
  • Don’t be afraid to give up the good for the great – Unknown
  • If only every man would make proper use of his strength and do his utmost, he need never regret his limited ability. - Cicero 
  • "The Bible is like a lion, it needs no defense; let it out of its cage, and it will defend itself." – Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do!" – Unknown
  • "The Devil is a better theologian than any of us, yet is a Devil still." – A. W. Tozer
  • "The world is round, and the place which may seem like an end may also be only the beginning." – Ivy Baker Priest
  • "Don't tell God how big your problems are. Tell your problems how big God is." – Unknown
  • "Some people say I cannot sing, but no one can say I didn't sing." – Florence Foster Jenkins
  • "In order to be a leader, a man must have followers. And to have followers, a man must have their confidence. Hence, the supreme quality for a leader is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible." – Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th US President
  • "In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings." – Ann Landers
  • "There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other, wings." – Hodding Carter
  • Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. Carl Jung 
  • A person’s true wealth is the good he or she does in the world. Mohammed 
  • Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. – Unknown
  • The following are quotes from Billy Graham
"Overcoming Adversity: Comfort and prosperity have never enriched the world as much as adversity has."

"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are tiffened."

"Business: Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything."

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. 

The Cleaner

A third knock sounded on the old, worn door. I stumbled through the dark, tripping over things and making a lot of noise. "Hold on - I am coming. Just wait a second," I shouted. I felt along the cold wall and finally found the door handle. Grasping it, I flung open the door and found a man standing there. My eyes adjusted to the light from outside and I squinted to look him in the face. "Cleaning service...," he spoke. "Ah, yes, yes, good." I shook his hand.

He looked around and saw the area that the light from outside revealed. He didn't smile or frown but simply looked at me and waited for instructions. "I've tried everything, sir, everything I could think of, but nothing worked. You are my last hope. I can't even get the lights to come on," I mumbled. "Ah, well then that's where we start. The lights..."

He walked over to the wall, placed his hand on it, and walked twenty paces. "You're lucky you called me, son. I am the only one who knows where the light is," he said as he flicked them on. The room was suddenly ablaze with light. With everything in full view, I realized just how messy this place was. I kicked a piece of junk and sighed.

"Well...?" I asked him, expecting him to start working.

"What else?" he asked.

"Well the lights are on, but I want all this junk out of here."

He nodded and once again went to work. He started clearing away the pile of dusty junk that littered the floor. He threw out the things that had seemed important at one time, but not anymore. He trashed all the things I knew needed to be thrown out, but never ended up doing it. He cleaned up all the things that had seemed to have built up through the years. Then he came to me again. "What about the locked metal box along the wall?" "What metal box?"

He led me to a large metal box locked many times. I instantly gave him permission to open the locks, which he strangely had the keys for. The locks clicked and the door squeaked as he opened it. I saw what it contained and suddenly wanted it shut again.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Well, technically that's junk, but I like it and I think I want to keep it. I really like it."

"But it is junk and if you want this place truly clean, it's gotta be thrown out."

"But I want to keep it."

He looked at me as if waiting for a response. "Fine," I sighed. "Take it."

He smiled and it was gone in a few seconds, box and all. With that, he moved on and was finished with the whole building in a few hours. The metal shined and the floors glistened. The whole place looked great. When he was finished, he once again came to me.

"Well I am done with that. Is that all?"

"Uh...I guess. Was there something else you wanted to do?"

"If you want I can do a few more extra things."

"Well OK. But don't take too long," I said.

Instantly he was once again at work. He opened a small office and stuck a tape in the sound system tape deck. Soft, flighty music floated through the air. He came in and out a few times, carrying plants and other decorative items. He opened the windows and let the musty air filter out. He went to the back and opened long hidden cages, and suddenly sparrows and butterflies were flying around the ceiling. The whole atmosphere was different. He came to me once again.

"Now that makes it much better."

"Yes, yes, I love it," I laughed.

"One more thing..."

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could stay here. That way I could keep it clean and you wouldn't have to worry about it."

"Stay here?" I said amazed. "Uh I don't think that is possible. I like my privacy and I think I can keep it clean by myself from now on."

"You said yourself that I was your last hope. If I remember correctly, you couldn't even find the lights. Without me, all that junk will slowly find its way back in here." I thought for a moment and then gave in and said, "Fine. You can stay here and keep it clean."

He smiled and nodded in thanks. He went into the office and started setting up a bed. I watched him for a moment in awe. "Sir," I said, "I never got your name..."

He turned and stared at me. A smile once again formed across his face and he seemed to choose his words carefully. "I am known by many names and have cleaned many places, and I will show you where you can find them..." he laughed, laying his hand on my shoulder.

With a start, I suddenly awoke. I must have fallen asleep. My Bible, long unread, sat in my lap. I looked down and found the pages had flipped to Revelation. In amazement I read 3:20, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."

Then, deep in a dark, junk filled room in my heart, I heard someone knocking on its door. The cleaner was here. The Soul Cleaner.

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

Love Is Patient
 Dr. Dale Johnson from Sermon "How Is Your Love Life?" 
       Cited on eSermons.com.

From his earliest days in politics, Lincoln had a critic who continually treated him with contempt, a man by the name of Edwin Stanton. Stanton would say to newspaper reporters that Lincoln was a "low cunning clown" and "the original gorilla."

He said it was ridiculous for explorers to go to Africa to capture a gorilla "when they could find one easily in Springfield, Illinois." Lincoln never responded to such slander, and never retaliated in the least. And when, as President, he needed a Secretary of War, he selected Edwin Stanton. When his friends asked why, Lincoln replied, "Because he is the best man for the job."

Years later, that fateful night came when an assassin's bullet murdered the president in a theater. Lincoln's body was carried off to another room. Stanton came, and looking down upon the silent, rugged, face of his dead President, he said through his tears, "There lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever seen." Stanton's animosity had finally been broken. How?

By Lincoln's patient, long-suffering, non-retaliatory love.
      

Joseph Meister Lived

Louis Pasteur, the pioneer of immunology, lived at a time when thousands of people died each year of rabies.

Pasteur had worked for years on a cure. Just as he was about to begin experimenting on himself, a nine-year-old, Joseph Meister, was bitten by a rabid dog. 

The boy's mother begged Pasteur to experiment on her son. Pasteur injected Joseph for ten days—and the boy lived. Decades later, of all things Pasteur could have had etched on his tombstone, he asked for three words: Joseph Meister Lived.

Thought: Our greatest legacy will be those who live eternally in heaven because of our efforts.

The hedgehogs

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold.

The hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.

Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

DID YOU KNOW ?

  • "Kemo Sabe, meaning an all knowing one, is actually a mispronunciation by Native American of the Spanish phrase, Quien lo Sabe, meaning one who knows."
  • "Long in the tooth," meaning "old," was originally used to describe horses. As horses age, their gums recede, giving the impression that their teeth are growing. The longer the teeth look, the older the horse.
  • "Lunula" is the tip of the finger and toenail that is white. It is called this this (referring to the moon) because the end of the nail is rounded like the moon.
  • "Ma is as selfless as I am" can be read the same way backwards. If you take away all the spaces you can see that all the letters can be spelled out both ways.
  • "Mad About You" star Paul Reiser plays the piano on the show's theme song.
  • "One thousand" contains the letter A, but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an A.
  • "Ough" can be pronounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully.
  • "Rhythms" is the longest English word without the normal vowels, a, e, i, o, or u.
  • "Second string," meaning "replacement or backup," comes from the middle ages. An archer always carried a second string in case the one on his bow broke.
  • "Speak of the Devil" is short for "Speak of the Devil and he shall come". It was believed that if you spoke about the Devil it would attract his attention. That's why when you're talking about someone and they show up people say "Speak of the Devil."
  • "Stewardesses" is the longest word that can be typed with only the left hand.
  • "Tautonyms" are scientific names for which the genus and species are the same.
  • "Taxi" is spelled exactly the same in English, French, German, Swedish, and Portuguese.
  • "Teh" means "cool" in Thai. (Pronounced "tay").

JUST FOR LAUGHS

Four preachers

Four preachers had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd man out decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please show me a sign, so they too will know that I understand Your laws."

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the preacher finished his plea, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So he asked again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign."

This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning knocked down a tree ten feet away from the preachers. The cloud dispersed at once. "I told you I was right!" insisted the loner, but the others insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The insisting preacher started to ask again; just as he said, "Oh God..." the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"

The sky returned to normal. The one preacher put his hands on his hips and said, "Well?"

"So?" replied another. "Now it's three to two!"

Tough Decision

Dr. Knapp's Jokes

By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over.

"Why are you so late?" his friend asked.

"I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game."

"How long could that have taken you?"

"Well, I had to toss it 14 times."

15 March 2020

posted 13 Mar 2020, 00:39 by C S Paul


15 March 2020

Quotes that Inspire

  • "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent. Genius will not ... the world is full of educated derelicts." – Calvin Coolidge, 30th US President
  • "You will become as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration." – James Allen
  • "The will to win means nothing if you haven't the will to prepare." – Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon winner
  • "Humor is the shortest distant between two people" – Victor Borge
  • "How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives" – Annie Dillard
  • "The more reasons you have for achieving your goal, the more determined you will become." – Brian Tracy
  • "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." – Abraham Lincoln
  • "Heroes are ordinary men and women who dare to see and meet the call of a possibility greater than themselves. People who, despite their doubts and fears, commit themselves to action. People who go beyond their limits in what they think is possible." – Joan Holmes
  • "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." – Edmund Burke
  • `"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within." – Earl Nightingale
  • "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • "Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world." – Dr. Wayne Dyer
  • "It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself." – Thomas Paine
  • "The history of the human race is the history of ordinary people who have overcome their fears and accomplished extraordinary things." – Brian Tracy
  • "When we look at modern man, we have to face the fact that modern man suffers from a kind of poverty of the spirit. This stands in glaring contrast to his scientific and technological abundance. We've learned to fly the air like birds, we've learned to swim the seas like fish, and yet we haven't learned to walk the earth as brothers and sisters." – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Story of Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"?I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. " I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. 

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. 

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success: 

* You have to laugh and find humor every day.
* You've got to have a dream. 
* When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." 

* Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. 

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. 


REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Lord I love You and I need You, come into my heart, Today.

For without You I can do nothing.

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

THE BIBLE AND COAL BASKET

- joe eruppakkatt

The story is told of an old man who lived on a farm in the mountains of  Kentucky with his young grandson.  Each morning,  Grandpa was up early  sitting at the kitchen table reading from his old  worn-out Bible.  His  grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to imitate him in any way he could.

One day the grandson asked, “Papa, I try to  read the Bible just like you  but I don’t  understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I  close the book.  What good does reading the Bible do?”

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and  said,”Take this coal basket down to the river and  bring back a basket of  water.”

The boy did as he was told, even though all  the water leaked out  before he could get back to the house.  The grandfather laughed and said,  ”You will have to m ove a little faster next time,”  and sent him back to  the  river with  the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the  basket was empty before  he returned home. Out of breath, he told his  grandfather that it was”impossible to carry water in a basket,” and he went  to get a bucket instead. The old man said, “I don’t want a bucket of  water; I want a basket of  water.  You can do this. You’re just not trying hard  enough,” and he went  out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was  impossible, but he wanted to showhis grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he  could, the water wouldleak out before he got far at all.  The boy scooped  the water and ranhard,  but when he reached his grandfather the basket was  again empty. Out  of  breath, he said, “See Papa, it’s useless!”

“So you think it is useless?” the old man  said.  ”Look at the basket.” The boy looked at the basket and for the  first time he realized that  thebasket looked different.    Instead of a dirty  old coal basket, it wasclean. “Son, that’s what happens when you read the  Bible.  You might notunderstand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change youfrom the inside out.”  That is the work of God in  our lives.   To change us from the inside out and to slowly transform usinto the image of His son.

Take time to read a portion of God’s word each day, and remind a  friend by sharing this story.”Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply,  Speak Kindly, Leave the Rest  to God.”

Carrot, Egg Or A Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity, boiling water, but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN? 

Provided by Free Christian Content.org


Let women have their own way or

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. 

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants," she said, "is to be in charge of her own life." Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

"Which would you prefer? she asked him. "Beau tiful during the day ... or at night?"

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this ...) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this ..) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?

What Lancelot chose is below.  BUT ... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected   her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.Now ... what is the moral to this story?

The moral is ..
 
If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.


Did You Know ?
  • A motion to table a motion to reconsider a vote to table an appeal of a ruling that a point of order was not in order against a motion to table another point of order against a motion to bring to a vote the motion to call up the resolution that would institute a rules change." 
  • "Adcomsubordcomphibspac" is the longest acronym. It is a Navy term standing for Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command.
  • "Aromatherapy" is a term coined by French chemist René Maurice Gattefossé in the 1920's to describe the practice of using essential oils taken from plants, flowers, roots, seeds, etc., in healing.
  • "Asthma" and "isthmi" are the only six-letter words that begin and end with a vowel and have no other vowels between.
  • "Fickleheaded" and "fiddledeedee" are the longest words consisting only of letters in the first half of the alphabet.
  • "Flushable" toilets were in use in ancient Rome.
  • "Fortnight" is a contraction of "fourteen nights." In the US "two weeks" is more commonly used.
  • "Forty" is the only number which has its letters in alphabetical order. "One" is the only number with its letters in reverse alphabetical order.
  • "Four" is the only number whose number of letters in the name equals the number.
  • "Hang on Sloopy" is the official rock song of Ohio.
  • "Happy Birthday" was the first song to be performed in outer space, sung by the Apollo IX astronauts on March 8, 1969.

Just for laughs

"Light the Fire."

A few weeks ago as our pastor was preaching the sermon, our Music Director was acting a little frantic and working hard to change a song we were scheduled to sing after the sermon was over.

Our pastor was preaching on the topic "What About Hell." The song that we were scheduled to sing was "Light the Fire."

Court Scene

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

* * * * * * *

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.

* * * * * * *

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? 
WITNESS: Yes. 
ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

* * * * * * *

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 
WITNESS: Take a guess.

* * * * * * *

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? 
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.



8 March 2020

posted 6 Mar 2020, 07:26 by C S Paul


8 March 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • "People who cannot find time for recreation are obliged sooner of later to find time for illness."  John Wanamaker
  • "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."  John Wooden
  • "Reputation is what you are in the light; character is what you are in the dark." American Proverb
  • "Nothing would be done at all if a man or woman waited until they could do it so well that no one could find fault with it." – John Henry Newman
  • "Behavior is what a man does, not what he thinks, feels, or believes"  Emily Dickinson
  • "Do not wait for leaders–do it alone, person to person."  Mother Teresa
  • "You control your life by controlling your time." – Conrad Hilton
  • "A thought a day is a worthwhile investment of time. A word from the Creator, as recorded in the book of books, The Holy Bible, makes the best reference." – Unknown.
  • "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."  Abraham Lincoln, 16th US President
  • "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."  Zig Ziglar
  • "The impossible is often the untried."  Jim Goodwin
  • "A person all wrapped up in himself makes a very small package." – Anon
  • "He who throws mud loses ground." – Anon
  • "The older we get the more we realize that service to others is the only way to stay happy. If we do nothing to benefit others, we will do nothing to benefit ourselves."  Carl Holmes
The Wooden Bowl
Author Unknown

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. We must do something about Grandfather, " said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.

Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four year old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when I grow up." The four year old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note: 

I've learned that, no matter what happens how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. 

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. 

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch, holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Honesty Story of an Emperor
Author Unknown

Once there was an emperor in the Far East who was growing old and knew it was coming time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or one of his own children, he decided to do something different.

He called all the young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, "It has come time for me to step down and to choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you." The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. "I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One seed. It is a very special seed. I want you to go home, plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from
this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring to me, and the one I choose will be the next emperor of the kingdom!"

There was one boy named Ling who was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the whole story. She helped him get a pot and some planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.

After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Ling kept going home and checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by. Still nothing.

By now others were talking about their plants but Ling didn't have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn't say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she encouraged him to go, and to take his pot, and to be honest about what happened. Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his empty pot to the palace.

When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by all the other youths. They were beautiful, in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, "Hey nice try."

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the emperor.

"Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!"

All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front.

Ling was terrified. "The emperor knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!"

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. "My name is Ling," he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, "Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!"

Ling couldn't believe it. Ling couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and
flowers. When you found that the seed would not grown, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!"

A Pound Of Butter
Author Unknown

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he  found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honour, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honour, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.

Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question: Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make?

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves--- more than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important.

Things do not always go according to plan
Author Unknown

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison. Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers.

His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls. When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone.

The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket.

Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept.

She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the caretaker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin.

The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it. The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died.

She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring.

She got up, picked the lock of her cell, and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast.

She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground.

She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh.

She was free! She was free!

Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Did you know ?

  • "Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar, La Allah Il Allah, La Allah Il Allah U Mohammed Rassul Allah" is heard by more people than any other sound of the human voice. This is the prayer recited by muezzins from each of the four corners of the prayer tower as Moslems all over the world face toward Mecca and kneel at sunset. It means: "God is great. There is no God but God, and Mohammed is the prophet of God."
  • "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
  • "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson was the first video to air on MTV by a black artist.
  • "Conservationalists" & "Conversationalists" (18 letters) are the longest non-scientific transposals (word formed from another by changing its letters).
  • "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
  • "Duff" is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.
  • 1 and 2 are the only numbers where they are values of the numbers of the factors they have.
  • A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body. 
  • A Cheetah at full speed takes strides of 8 meters.
  • A day on the planet Mercury is twice as long as its year.  
  • A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.  
  • A dentist invented the Electric Chair.
Just for laughs

Need Directions

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.

Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions."

Pull, Buddy, pull

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

The Bishop

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. 

At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. 

Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

1 March 2020

posted 29 Feb 2020, 06:36 by C S Paul


1 March 2020

Quotes to Inspire
  • "Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life." – Anon 
  • "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." – Andrew Carnegie, Industrialist
  • If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader. – Dolly Parton Entertainer
  • "Stop stewing and start doing!" – Denis Waitley
  • "No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come." – Victor Hugo
  • "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." – John Quincy Adams
  • "Goals are like stepping-stones to the stars. They should never be used to put a ceiling or a limit on achievement." – Denis Waitley
  • "What we learn with pleasure we never forget." – Alfred Mercier
  • "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps." – David Lloyd George
  • "I would rather fail in a cause that will ultimately triumph than to triumph in a cause that will ultimately fail." – Jim Elliot
  • "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." – Cyril Connolly
  • "Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell." – C.T. Studd
A BEGGERS RAGS

Author Unknown

A beggar lived near the king’s palace. One day he saw a proclamation posted outside the palace gate. The king was giving a great dinner. Anyone dressed in royal garments was invited to the party.

The beggar went on his way. He looked at the rags he was wearing and sighed. Surely only kings and their families wore royal robes, he thought. Slowly an idea crept into his mind. The audacity of it made him tremble.

Would he dare?

He made his way back to the palace. He approached the guard at the gate. “Please, sire, I would like to speak to the king.”

“Wait here,” the guard replied. In a few minutes, he was back. “His majesty will see you,” he said, and led the beggar in.

“You wish to see me?” asked the king.

“Yes, your majesty. I want so much to attend the banquet, but I have no royal robes to wear. Please, sir, if I may be so bold, may I have one of your old garments so that I, too, may come to the banquet?”

The beggar shook so hard that he could not see the faint smile that was on the king’s face.

”You have been wise in coming to me,” the king said. He called to his son, the young prince. “Take this man to your room and array him in some of your clothes.”

The prince did as he was told and soon the beggar was standing before a mirror, clothed in garments that he had never dared hope for.

“You are now eligible to attend the king’s banquet tomorrow night,” said the prince.
“But even more important, you will never need any other clothes. These garments will last forever.” The beggar dropped to his knees. “Oh, thank you,” he cried.

But as he started to leave, he looked back at his pile of dirty rags on the floor. He hesitated.

What if the prince was wrong?

What if he would need his old clothes again. Quickly he gathered them up.

The banquet was far greater than he had ever imagined, but he could not enjoy himself as he should.

He had made a small bundle of his old rags and it kept falling off his lap. The food was passed quickly and the beggar missed some of the greatest delicacies.

Time proved that the prince was right.

The clothes lasted forever. Still the poor beggar grew fonder and fonder of his old rags. As time passed people seemed to forget the royal robes he was wearing. They saw only the little bundle of filthy rags that he clung to wherever he went.

They even spoke of him as the old man with the rags.

One day as he lay dying, the king visited him.

The beggar saw the sad look on the king’s face when he looked at the small bundle of rags by the bed. Suddenly the beggar remembered the prince’s words and he realized that his bundle of rags had cost him a lifetime of true royalty.

He wept bitterly at his folly. And the king wept with him.

We have all been invited into the royal family–the family of God.

To feast at God’s dinner table, all we have to do is shed our old rags and put on the “new clothes” of faith which is provided by God’s Son Jesus Christ.

But we cannot hold onto our old rags. When we put our faith in Christ, we must let go of the sin in our life, and our old ways of living. Those things must be discarded if we are to experience true royalty and abundant life in Christ.

What are you holding on to from your life before knowing Jesus?

Whatever it is, get rid of it! God will give you everything you need … you don’t need to rely on the world to satisfy you any more!

God Never Leaves You By Yourself

I was walking down a dimly lit street late one evening when I heard muffled screams coming from behind a clump of bushes. Alarmed, I slowed down to listen, and panicked when I realized that what I was hearing were the unmistakable sounds of a struggle: heavy grunting, frantic scuffling, and tearing of fabric. Only yards from where I stood, a woman was being attacked. Should I get involved? I was frightened for my own safety, and cursed myself for having suddenly decided to take a new route home that night. What if I became another statistic? Shouldn't I just run to the nearest phone and call the police?

Although it seemed an eternity, the deliberations in my head had taken only seconds, but already the girl's cries were growing weaker. I knew I had to act fast. How could I walk away from this? No, I finally resolved, I could not turn my back on the fate of this unknown woman, even if it meant risking my own life. 

I am not a brave man, nor am I athletic. I don't know where I found the moral courage and physical strength, but once I had finally resolved to help the girl, I became strangely transformed. I ran behind the bushes and pulled the assailant off the woman. Grappling, we fell to the ground, where we wrestled for a few minutes until the attacker jumped up and escaped. 

Panting hard, I scrambled upright and approached the girl, who was crouched behind a tree, sobbing. In the darkness, I could barely see her outline, but I could certainly sense her trembling shock. Not wanting to frighten her further, I, at first, spoke to her from a distance.

"It's OK," I said soothingly. "The man ran away. You're safe now."

There was a long pause... and then I heard the words, uttered in wonder, in amazement. "Daddy, is that you?"

And then from behind the tree, stepped my youngest daughter, Katherine. 

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

The Test

I left work early so I could have some uninterrupted study time right before the final in my seminary Youth Issues class. When I got to class, everybody was doing their last minute studying. The teacher came in and said he would review with us for just a little bit before the test. We went through the review, most of it right on the study guide, but there were some things he was reviewing that I had never heard of. When questioned about it, he said that they were in the book and we were responsible for everything in the book. We couldn't really argue with that. 

Finally it was time to take the test. 

"Leave them face down on the desk until everyone has one and I'll tell you to start," our prof instructed. 

When we turned them over, every answer on the test was filled in! The bottom of the last page said the following: "This is the end of the Final Exam. All the answers on your test are correct. You will receive an 'A' on the final exam. The reason you passed the test is because the creator of the test took it for you. All the work you did in preparation for this test did not help you get the A. You have just experienced... grAce." 

He then went around the room and asked each student individually, "What is your grade? Do you deserve the grade you are receiving? How much did all your studying for this exam help you achieve your final grade?" 

Now I am not a crier by any stretch of the imagination, but I had to fight back tears when answering those questions and thinking about how the Creator has passed the test for me. 

Discussion afterward went like this: "I have tried to teach you all semester that you are a recipient of grace. I've tried to communicate to you that you need to demonstrate this gift as you work with young people. Don't hammer them; they are not the enemy. Help them, for they will carry on your ministry if it is full of GRACE!" 

Talking about how some of us had probably studied hours and some just a few minutes but had all received the same grade, he pointed to a story Jesus told in Matthew 20. The owner of a vineyard hired people to work in his field and agreed to pay them a certain amount. Several different times during the day, he hired more workers. When it was time to pay them, they all received the same amount. When the ones who had been hired first thing in the morning began complaining, the boss said, "Should you be angry because I am kind?" (Matthew 20:15). 

The teacher said he had never done this kind of final before and probably would never do it again, but because of the content of many of our class discussions, he felt like we needed to experience grace. 

Have you thanked your Creator today because of the grace you have experienced?

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

I'll Be Your Arms

Bob Butler lost his legs in a 1965 land mine explosion in Vietnam. He returned home a war hero. Twenty years later, he proved once again that heroism comes from the heart.

Butler was working in his garage in a small town in Arizona on a hot summer day when he heard a woman's screams coming from a nearby house. He began rolling his wheelchair toward the house but the dense shrubbery wouldn't allow him access to the back door. So he got out of his chair and started to crawl through the dirt and bushes.

I had to get there, he says. It didn't matter how much it hurt. When Butler arrived at the pool there was a three-year-old girl named Stephanie Hanes lying at the bottom. She had been born without arms and had fallen in the water and couldn't swim.

Her mother stood over her baby screaming frantically. Butler dove to the bottom of the pool and brought little Stephanie up to the deck. Her face was blue, she had no pulse and was not breathing. Butler immediately went to work performing CPR to revive her while Stephanie's mother telephoned the fire department. She was told the paramedics were already out on a call. Helplessly, she sobbed and hugged Butler's shoulder.

As Butler continued with his CPR, he calmly reassured her. Don't worry, he said. I was her arms to get out of the pool. It'll be okay. I am now her lungs. Together we can make it. Seconds later the little girl coughed, regained consciousness, and began to cry. As they hugged and rejoiced together the mother asked Butler how he knew it would be okay.

The truth is, I didn't know, he told her. But when my legs were blown off in the war, I was all alone in a field. No one was there to help except a little Vietnamese girl. As she struggled to drag me into her village, she whispered in broken English, It okay. You can live. I be your legs. Together we make it. Her kind words brought hope to my soul and I wanted to do the same for Stephanie.

There are simply those times when we cannot stand alone. There are those times when we need someone to be our legs, our arms, our friend.

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

Just for laughs

Grandma and God

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

Building Program

There is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: I have good news and bad news.

The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets.
 
The Lottery

A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. 

She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. 

I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." 

Lotto night comes and she does not win. 

Brandi again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and now I'm going to lose my car." 

Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck. 

Once again, she prays... "Dear Lord, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEEEEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order." 

Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God himself... 

"Brandi, work with me on this. Buy a ticket!" 

Did you know ?
  • Microsoft threatened 17 year old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com. 
  • As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds. 
  • There is a Starbucks in Myungdong, South Korea that is five stories tall. 
  • There has been no mail delivery in Canada on Saturday for the last thirty five years. 
  • The weight of air in a milk glass is about the same as the weight of an aspirin tablet. 
  • The world's smallest winged insect is the Tanzanian parasitic wasp. It's smaller than the eye of a housefly. 
  • Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. 
  • The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. 
  • The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher. 
  • If you have three quarters, four dimes and four cents, you have $1.19. But you cannot make exact change for a dollar. 
  • There are more plastic flamingoes in the United States than real ones. 

23 February 2020

posted 20 Feb 2020, 23:12 by C S Paul   [ updated 20 Feb 2020, 23:12 ]


23 February 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi 
  • Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish proverb 
  • There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don’t respond with encores.  - unknown
  • The door of opportunity won’t open unless you do some pushing. - unknown
  • True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr. 
  • Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey
  • We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. - unknown
  • We expect more of ourselves than we have any right to.- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
  • Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  - unknown
  • Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity they think of you.  - unknown
  • The real tragedy of life is not being limited to one talent, but failing to use that one talent.  - unknown 
  • Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up. - Jesse Jackson 
  • Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers 
  • Life is a promise; fulfill it- Mother Teresa 

My Sons Would Know

The story is told of a father who took his two boys one afternoon to play miniature golf.

The father walked up to the man at the ticket counter and said, "How much is it to get in?" The young man replied, "Three dollars for you and three dollars for any kid who is older than six. We let them in for free if they are six or younger. 

How old are your two?" The father replied, "This one is three and the other one is seven, so I owe you $6.00." 

The young man at the ticket counter said, "Hey mister, did you just win the lottery or something? You could have saved yourself three bucks if you would have told me that the older one was six. I wouldn't have known the difference."

The father replied, "Yes, that may be true, but the boys would have known the difference."

Puppies

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. 

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." 

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped his head for a moment. 

Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. 

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?" 

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle, "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. 

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little fur ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.... 

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would." 

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands." 

The world is full of people who need someone who understands. Do you understand? 

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

The mouse trap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" the mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said "Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said "I am so very sorry, Mr.Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many! people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember: when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another. Each of us is a vital thread in another person's tapestry.


A foot has no nose
by Ellen K. Kuzwayo

Of the many interactions I had with my mother those many years ago, one stands out with clarity. I remember the occasion when mother sent me to the main road, about twenty yards away from the homestead, to invite a passing group of seasonal work-seekers home for a meal. She instructed me to take a container along and collect dry cow dung for making a fire. I was then to prepare the meal for the group of work-seekers.

The thought of making an open fire outside at midday, cooking in a large three-legged pot in that intense heat, was sufficient to upset even an angel. I did not manage to conceal my feelings from my mother and, after serving the group, she called me to the veranda where she usually sat to attend to her sewing and knitting.

Looking straight into my eyes, she daid "Tsholofelo, why did you sulk when I requested you to prepare a meal for those poor destitute people?" Despite my attempt to deny her allegation, and using the heat of the fire and the sun as an excuse for my alleged behaviour, mother, giving me a firm look, said ""Lonao ga lo na nko" - "A foot has no nose". It means: you cannot detect what trouble may lie ahead of you.

Had I denied this group of people a meal, it may have happened that, in my travels some time in the future, I found myself at the mercy of those very individuals. As if that was not enough to shame me, mother continued: "Motho ke motho ka motho yo mongwe". The literal meaning: "A person is a person because of another person".


Did you know ?

  • Homing pigeons use roads where possible to help find their way home. In fact, some pigeons followed roads so closely that they actually flew around traffic circles before choosing the exit that led them home. 
  • A snowflake can take up to a hour to fall from the cloud to the surface of the Earth.
  • Only 5 percent of the ocean floor has been mapped in as much detail as the surface of Mars. 
  • The only people whose likenesses adorn Pez dispensers are Betsy Ross and Paul Revere. 
  • Pain is measured in units of "dols". The instrument used to measure pain is a "dolorimeter". 
  • In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space. 
  • Eleven top executives of the Direct Marketing Association (the telemarketers' group that is trying to kill the federal "Do Not Call" list) have registered for the list themselves. 
  • An iceberg the size of Long Island, New York, has broken off Antarctica and has blocked sea lanes used by both ships and penguins. 
  • In 2003, the Transportation Security Administration dropped a requirement that air marshals pass a marksmanship test. Some applicants were even hired after they repeatedly shot flight attendants in mock hijacking episodes. 
  • As of January 2004, the United States economy now borrows $1,500,000,000 each day from foreign investors. 
  • A Costa Rican worker who makes baseballs earns about $2,750 annually. The average American pro baseball player earns $2,377,000 per year. 
  • Former keyboard player for Jethro Tull David Palmer is now a woman named Dee Palmer. He waited until his wife died before going through with his longtime desire for a sex change. 
  • During Bill Clinton's entire eight year presidency, he only sent two e-mails. One was to John Glenn when he was aboard the space shuttle, and the other was a test of the e-mail system. 
Just for laughs.

Sin of lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Quite a few hands went up.  

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

In a minute

A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.

"God," he said, "how long is a million years?"

God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."

The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"

God answered, "To me, it's a penny."

The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "In a minute."

Dear God ...

If you give me a genie lamp like Alladin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set. Raphael

My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha. Danny

Please send Dennis Clark to a different camp this year. Peter

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. Larry

I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over. Sam

16 February 2020

posted 14 Feb 2020, 06:44 by C S Paul


16 February 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader. – Dolly Parton Entertainer
  • "Stop stewing and start doing!"  Denis Waitley
  • "No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come."  Victor Hugo
  • "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." – John Quincy Adams
  • "Goals are like stepping-stones to the stars. They should never be used to put a ceiling or a limit on achievement." – Denis Waitley
  • "What we learn with pleasure we never forget." – Alfred Mercier
  • "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." – Zig Ziglar
  • "The impossible is often the untried." – Jim Goodwin 
  • "Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better [person]." – Benjamin Franklin
  • "No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." – Unknown
  • "A man's make [character] can be seen by the way that he treats those who are of absolutely no value to him." – Unknown 
Trust Me

They tell the story of a mountain climber, who desperately wanted to conquer the Aconcagua, He initiated his climb after years of preparation. However, he wanted the glory all to himself, therefore he went up alone.

He started climbing. The later the hour, the darker it became. He did not prepare for camping but decided to keep on going. Night fell with heaviness at a very high altitude; visibility was zero, everything was black. There was no moon and the stars were covered by the clouds. As he was climbing a ridge at about 100 meters from the top, he slipped and fell. 

Falling rapidly he could only see blotches of darkness that passed. He felt a terrible sensation of being sucked in by gravity. He kept falling, and in those anguishing moments good and bad memories passed through his mind. He thought certainly that he would die. But then he felt a jolt that almost tore him in half. Yes! Like any good mountain climber, he had staked himself with a long rope tied to his waist. In those moments of stillness, suspended in the air, he had no other choice but to shout, "HELP ME GOD, HELP ME!" 

All of a sudden, he heard a deep voice from heaven... "What do you want me to do?" 

"Save me", said the climber. 

"Do you really think that I can save you?" 

"Of course my God", said the climber. 

"Then cut the rope that is holding you up", God said. 

There was another moment of silence and stillness. The man just held tighter to the rope. The rescue team says that the next day they found a frozen mountain climber holding strongly to a rope... TWO FEET FROM THE GROUND! 

How about you, how trusting are you in the rope? Why didn't or why won't you let go? I tell you, God has great and marvelous things for you. Cut the rope and simply trust in Him. 

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

The Love Parable

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave.

Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment.

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help.

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere."

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." "I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you. " Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him.

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder.

Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived on land, the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Provided by Free Christian Content.org

8 year-old's explanation of god
-- By Danny Dutton

Written by an 8 year old from Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. I just wonder if any of us could do as well?

One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth.

He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.

God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime.  God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this .

Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.

God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.

Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church.

Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.

His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.

You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.

You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God.

Don't skip church or do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.

If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can.

It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.

But... you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And this is what I know about God.

A lesson in faith 
- the charles blondin story

The amazing story of Charles Blondin, a famous French tightrope walker, is a wonderful illustration of what true faith is.

Blondin's greatest fame came on September 14, 1860, when he became the first person to cross a tightrope stretched 11,000 feet (over a quarter of a mile) across the mighty Niagara Falls. People from both Canada and America came from miles away to see this great feat.

He walked across, 160 feet above the falls, several times... each time with a different daring feat - once in a sack, on stilts, on a bicycle, in the dark, and blindfolded. One time he even carried a stove and cooked an omelet in the middle of the rope!

A large crowd gathered and the buzz of excitement ran along both sides of the river bank. The crowd “Oohed and Aahed!” as Blondin carefully walked across - one dangerous step after another - pushing a wheelbarrow holding a sack of potatoes.

Then a one point, he asked for the participation of a volunteer. Upon reaching the other side, the crowd's applause was louder than the roar of the falls!

Blondin suddenly stopped and addressed his audience: "Do you believe I can carry a person across in this wheelbarrow?"

The crowd enthusiastically yelled, "Yes! You are the greatest tightrope walker in the world. We believe!"

"Okay," said Blondin, "Who wants to get into the wheelbarrow."

As far as the Blondin story goes, no one did at the time!

This unique story illustrates a real life picture of what faith actually is. The crowd watched these daring feats. They said they believed. But... their actions proved they truly did not believe.

Similarly, it is one thing for us to say we believe in God. However, it's true faith when we believe God and put our faith and trust in His Son, Jesus Christ.

Just for Laughs

Long trips

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." 

Which came first ?

Which came first; the chicken or the egg?

Which came first; Adam or Eve?

Think about it.

Fractured Verse

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: 

"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us." 

Did you Know ?

  • A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage. 
  • Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights. 
  • Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch. 
  • Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option. 
  • There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one. 
  • The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit. 
  • Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series. 
  • Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication. 
  • Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it. 
  • A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined. 
  • Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas. 
  • Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist". 
  • McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling). 


9 February 2020

posted 10 Feb 2020, 06:32 by C S Paul

9 February 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • "What you think of yourself is much more important than what others think of you." – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
  • "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." – Paul Boese
  • "An inventor fails 999 times, and if he succeeds once, he's in. He treats his failures simply as practice shots." – Unknown
  • "It's amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions." – Unknown
  • "Technology is like a steamroller. If you're not on the steamroller, then you are destined to become part of the road." – Bits & Pieces
  • "You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere." – Charles Kettering
  • "A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist."  Louis Nizer
  • "Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." – Jeanne Moreau
You're Better Than That
Michael Josephson 

Todd was an angry nine-year-old being raised by his mom after his dad abandoned the family. Not knowing how to handle his anger, she sent him for the summer to live with his grandparents on a farm. When Todd screamed at his grandmother, his granddad immediately pulled him outside where he showed him a two-by-four, a box of two-inch nails and a big hammer. He told Todd that every time he lost his temper he would be sent outside and that he couldn't return until he pounded a big two-inch nail all the way into the two-by-four.

After about a dozen trips to the "nail shed," Todd began to control his temper more and pound less. After a solid week of self-control he proudly announced that he had learned his lesson.

His grandma said, "Not yet," and she took him to the shed. She told him to pull out all the nails he had pounded in. After two hours Todd told his grandma he was finished.

She smiled and put her arm around him as they surveyed the bent nails and the holes in the two-by-four. Then she said: "Your temper may have helped you pound in those nails but it didn't change anything, did it? Pulling out the nails didn't do much good either. It's like saying you're sorry. Sorry doesn't fix the holes."

"Here's the thing, Todd. Anger makes holes that sorry can't fix. You can't do much about old holes, but you can stop making new ones. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty you're putting a hole somewhere, in someone. That's what your dad did to you. Please don't do that to anyone else. You are better than that."

My Attorney

After living a "decent" life, my time on earth came to an end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house. The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table. As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor." He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen. I sat down and looked to my left and there sat my lawyer, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed familiar to me. The corner door flew open and there appeared the judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an awesome presence as he moved across the room. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. 

As he took his seat behind the bench, he said, "Let us begin." The prosecutor rose and said, "My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell." He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and in the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own lawyer, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about. As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at my representative who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life, couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I've done? Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise. 

When it was his turn, my lawyer first asked if he might approach the bench. The judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned him to come forward. As he got up and started walking, I was able to see him in his full splendor and majesty. I realized why he seemed so familiar. This was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior. He stopped at the bench and softly said to the judge, "Hi Dad," and then he turned to address the court. "Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations. And yes the wages of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished." Jesus took a deep breath and turned to his Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted me as his Savior, so he is mine." My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from me. Satan still does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy." 

As Jesus sat down, he quietly paused, looked at his Father and replied, "There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all." The judge lifted his mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from his lips... "This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full. Case dismissed." 

As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't give up, I'll win the next one." I asked Jesus as he gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?" Christ lovingly smiled and said, "Everyone that has come to me and asked me to represent them has received the same verdict as you, Paid in Full." 

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Thank you, Lord

A newly arrived soul in Heaven was met by St. Peter. The saint toured the soul around Heaven. Both of them walked side by side inside a large workroom filled with angels. St. Peter stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all the petitions to God said in prayer are received". The soul looked at the section, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets from all the people of the world.

They walked again until they reached the 2nd section, and St. Peter told the soul, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are packed and delivered to the persons who asked for them down on earth." The soul saw how busy it was. There were so many angels working in that room, since so many blessing were being packed and delivered to Earth.

Finally at the farthest corner of the room, the soul stopped at the last section. To the surprise of the soul, only one angel stayed there idly, doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledging Section," St. Peter told the soul. "How is it that, there is no work here?" "That's the sad thing," St. Peter answered. "After the people received the blessings they asked for, very few send their acknowledgments". "How does one acknowledge God's blessing?" "Simple," St. Peter answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."

Thank you Lord, for giving me the chance to share this message with others and also, for giving me so many wonderful people to share this with.

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The Homeless Person
-- Author- Unknown
The parking lot filled rapidly on Sunday morning as members of the large church congregation filed into church. As usually happens in a church that size, each member had developed a certain comfort zone - a block of space within those four church walls that became theirs after the second or third sitting.

It was as much a part of their church experience as the recliner was to the television at home. Some of the older members had been sitting in the same row on the same side for several decades. A team of oxen could not have moved them to the opposite side of the church.

One morning a stranger stood at the edge of the parking lot near a dumpster. As families parked cars and piled out, they noticed him rummaging through the trash. "Oh no! I don't believe it," whispered a lady to her husband. "That's all we need -- a bunch of homeless people milling around here."

One worried little girl tugged on her dad's sleeve. "But Daddy..."

Daddy was busy sizing up the bearded stranger, whose baggy, outdated trousers and faded flannel shirt had dusted too many park benches.

"Don't stare at him, honey," he whispered, and hurried her inside.

Soft music filled the high-ceiling sanctuary as churchgoers settled into their usual spots. The choir sang an opening chorus, "In His presence there is comfort ... in His presence there is peace...".

Sunlight suddenly flooded the center aisle. The double doors swung open and the homeless man, sloppy and stooped, headed toward the front.

"Oh no, it's him!" somebody muttered.

"What does he think he's doing, anyway?" snapped an incredulous usher.

The stranger set his bagful of dumpster treasures on the very first pew which had been upholstered in an expensive soft teal fabric just three months ago. The music stopped. And before anyone had a chance to react, he ambled up the stairs and stood behind the fine, handcrafted oak podium, where he faced a wide-eyed congregation.

The disheveled stranger spoke haltingly at first, in a low, clear voice. Unbuttoning and removing his top layer of clothing, he described Jesus, and the love He has for all people.

"Jesus possesses a sensitivity and love that far surpasses what any of us deserves."

Stepping out of the baggy old trousers, the stranger went on to describe a forgiveness that is available to each and every one of us...without strings attached.

"Unconditionally He loves us. Unconditionally He gave His very life for us. Unconditionally and forever, we can have the peace and assurance that no matter who we are, where we've come from, or how badly we may have mistreated others or ourselves, there is hope."

"In Jesus, there is always hope."

"You see, my friends, it is never too late to change," the man continued.

"He is the Author of change, and the Provider of forgiveness. He came to bring new meaning to 'life'."

Men and women squirmed as reality hit them like an electrical current. The stranger tugged at his knotted gray beard, and removed it.

"I'm here to tell you that we are loved with a love far beyond human understanding, a love that enables us to accept and love others in return." Then tenderly he added, "Let's pray together."

That wise pastor - under the guise of a homeless "nobody" - did not preach a sermon that day, but every person left with plenty to think about.

Did You Know?

  • There are an average of 18,000,000 items for sale at any time on EBay. 
  • The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam. 
  • U.K. telecom provider Telewest Broadband is testing a device that hooks to your PC and wafts a scent when certain e-mails arrive. 
  • In 1993, David McLean developed lung cancer. He died on October 12, 1995. McLean's death made him the second Marlboro Man to die of lung cancer. Another actor, Wayne McLaren, died in 1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer. 
  • There is a bar in London that sells vaporized vodka, which is inhaled instead of sipped. 
  • According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, fifty percent of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store. 
  • On EBay, there are an average of $680 worth of transactions each second. 
  • The Eiffel Tower shrinks 6 inches in winter. 
  • The first FAX machine was patented in 1843, 33 years before Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the telephone. 
  • 72% of Americans sign their pets' names on greeting cards they send out. 
  • In an effort to encourage the use of nuclear energy, the United States lent highly enriched uranium to countries all over the world between 1950 and 1988. Enough weapons-grade material to make 1,000 nuclear bombs has still not been returned by such countries as Pakistan, Iran, Israel and South Africa. 

Just for laughs

The Australian rancher

Australian Field Mice .... While on a business trip to Australia, a Texan rancher befriends an Australian rancher. The Australian invites the Texan to his ranch and points to an enormous wheat field and tells the Texan that this is his field.

The Texan acts unimpressed and says, "In Texas our small wheat fields are twice that size."

The Australian then takes the Texan to his house and points to his herd of large, healthy cattle. The Texan asks the Australian if these are calves and explains that Texan cattle are much larger.

The Texan continues to explain how things are just bigger and better in Texas. As he continues his boasting, some kangaroos go hopping across the field. The Texan stops bragging and asks, "What are those monstrous creatures that just went by?"

The Australian takes full opportunity of the moment and answers, "Oh, those things? They're just a few field mice."

And after a dramatic pause says, "But don't worry, mate, our cats will take care of them!"

– Author Unknown

Mummy get up

My two-year-old daughter, Paige, was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" My wife, Lani, woke from her doze to the sound of other patients laughing.

2 February 2020

posted 2 Feb 2020, 03:54 by C S Paul

2 February 2020

Quotes to Inspire

  • "It is not what you do to live, but what you live to do." – Unknown
  • "If you don't take a chance you don't have a chance." – Unknown
  • "Our doubts are traitors / And make us lose the good we oft might win / By fearing to attempt." – William Shakespeare
  • "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away." – Unknown
  • "If football taught me anything about business, it is that you win the game one play at a time." – Fran Tarkenton
  • "The virtue of man ought to be measured, not by his extraordinary exertions but by his everyday conduct." – Blaise Pascal
  • "The best way to predict your future is to create it." – Erich Fromm
  • "Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."– Winston Churchill
  • "A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction." – Rita Mae Brown
  • "If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." – Bishop Desmond Tutu
  • "You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose." – Lou Holt
  • "Most battles are won [or lost] before they are ever fought." – George Patton, US Army general
  • "The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. The just make the best of everything they have." – Unknown
  • "Football: A game where a whole group of big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while millions of people who really need the exercise sit and watch." – Unknown
  • "We always have time for the things we put first." – Paul Johnson
  • "The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us." – Unknown

I Picked You

One Sunday morning during service, a 2,000 member congregation was surprised to see two men enter, both covered from head to toe in black and carrying sub-machine guns. One of the men proclaimed, "Anyone willing to take a bullet for Christ remain where you are."

Immediately, the choir fled, the deacons fled, and most of the congregation fled. Out of the 2,000 there only remained around 20.

The man who had spoken took off his hood, looked at the preacher and said "Okay Pastor, I got rid of all the hypocrites. Now you may begin your service. Have a nice day!" And the two men turned and walked out.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God ... and then wonder why the world is in the condition it is today..

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says.!

Funny or is it scary?

Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and work place.

Funny, isn't it? Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

Are you thinking?

Will you share this with other people? Or not?

I picked you.


Source - Free Christian Content.org

For All Parents
Author Unknown

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the back yard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second-guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take you to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born, and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV show.

Just for this evening, when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the parents who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and parents who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore, and when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.

It is then that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.

Baseball 
Author Unknown

Bob and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails.

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love. The next batter up was named Godly wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly wisdom never swings at what Satan throws. 

The bases were loaded. The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said "He sure doesn't look like much!" Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace.

Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a home run!

The Lord's team won. The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why. The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, faith and wisdom will get you on base,...but only My Grace can get you home. My Grace is the one thing Satan cannot steal.

Jumping the queue 

Oliver Burkeman in "The Guardian Weekend"

Today, a true tale of heroism that takes place not in a war zone, nor a hospital, but in Victoria station in London in 2007, during a tube strike. Our hero – a transport journalist and self-described "big, stocky bloke with a shaven head" named Gareth Edwards, who first wrote about this experience on the community blog metafilter.com – is standing with other commuters in a long, snaking line for a bus, when a smartly dressed businessman blatantly cuts in line behind him. (Behind him: this detail matters.)

The interloper proves immune to polite remonstration, whereupon Edwards is seized by a magnificent idea. He turns to the elderly woman standing behind the queue-jumper, and asks her if she'd like to go ahead of him. She accepts, so he asks the person behind her, and the next person, and the next – until 60 or 70 people have moved ahead, Edwards and the seething queue-jumper shuffling further backwards all the time. The bus finally pulls up, and Edwards hears a shout from the front of the line. It's the elderly woman, addressing him: "Young man! Do you want to go in front of me?"

Just for laughs

Church observations

1. Some people are kind, polite, and  sweet spirited until you try to get into their pews or their favorite church parking spot.

2. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

3. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

4. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.

5. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

6. People are funny. They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.

7. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your door for years.

8. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong. 


The Pessimist

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.


Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.


He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.


As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by; they fired, and a duck fell. 


The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. 


This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.


The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but didn't say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"


"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."

Did you know ?

  • Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee. 
  • One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. 
  • The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year. 
  • The State of Florida is bigger than England. 
  • There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses. 
  • Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
  • For every ton of fish that is caught in all the oceans on our planet, there are three tons of garbage dumped into the oceans. 
  • Japanese and Chinese people die on the fourth of the month more often than any other dates. The reason may be that they are "scared to death" by the number four. The words four and death sound alike in both Chinese and Japanese. 
  • People with initials that spell out GOD or ACE are likely to live longer than people whose initials spell out words like APE, PIG, or RAT. 
 

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