SUNDAY MAGAZINE



SUNDAY MAGAZINE

 Bringing you a selection of Quotes, Inspiring Short Stories, Humor, Well known Classics in Serial form, Matters of general interest, and of course, Articles contributed by YOU.

Your valuable comments on the content and suggestions for improvement of "Sunday Magazine" and the website in general, will be very much appreciated.




30 July 2017

posted by C S Paul

30 July 2017

Quotes to Inspire

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. -Edith Lovejoy Pierce

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. - Ellen Goodman

Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn. - Delmore Schwartz

Time goes, you say? Ah, no! alas, time stays, we go. -Henry Austin Dobson

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of. - Benjamin Franklin

Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. - Henry Miller

This only is denied even to God: the power to undo the past. - Agathon

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win. -Bernadette Devlin
You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. -Charles F. Kettering

The future will be better tomorrow. -Dan Quayle

Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with a prophetic ray. -Lord Byron

Yesterday is but today's memory, and tomorrow is today's dream. - Kahlil Gibran

Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday. -John Wayne

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain

God's hands
Author Unknown

Wishing to encourage her young son's progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked "NO ADMITTANCE."

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child was missing.

Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy was sitting at the keyboard, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."

Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child and he added a running obligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was so mesmerized they couldn't recall what else the great master played. Only the classic "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."

That's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren't exactly graceful flowing music. But with the hand of the Master, our life's work truly can be beautiful. Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You can hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, "Don't quit. Keep playing."

-----

Feel His loving arms around you. Know that His strong hands are there helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.

Remember, God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. And He'll always be there to love and guide you on to great things. Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than the things you acquire.

The Park Bench

Author Unknown

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren't enough to ruin my day, A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.

He stood right before me with his head tilted down and said with great excitement, "Look what I found!"

In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with it's petals all worn, not enough rain, or to little light. Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a small smile and then shifted away. But instead of retreating he sat next to my side and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, "It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too. That's why I picked it; here it's for you."

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors, orange, yellow or red. But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need." But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, he held it mid-air without reason or plan. It was then that I noticed for the very first time that weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun as I thanked him for picking the very best one. You're welcome, he smiled, and then ran off to play, unaware of the impact he'd had on my day. I sat there and wondered how he managed to see a self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. How did he know of my self-indulged plight?

Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight. Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see the problem was not with the world; the problem was me. And for all of those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life, and appreciate every second that's mine. And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose. And smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand about to change the life of an unsuspecting old man.

Keep your fork
Attributed to Roger William Thomas

A woman was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given three months to live. She asked her Pastor to come to her home to discuss her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at her funeral, and what scriptures she wanted read, and which outfit she wanted to be buried in.

Then she said, "One more thing... I want to be buried with a fork in my hand."

The pastor was surprised.

The woman explained, "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably say to everyone, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite time of the dinner, because I knew something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake or deep dish apple pie - something wonderful. So, I want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and wonder, ' What's with the fork?' Then, I want you to tell them, ' Keep your fork, because the best is yet to come.' "

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he bid the woman goodbye. He realized she had a better grasp of heaven than he did, and knew something better was coming.

At the funeral, when people asked him why she was holding a fork, the pastor told them of the conversation he had with the woman before she died. He said he could not stop thinking about the fork, and knew they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.

"Keep your fork. The best is yet to come."

The Star Fish

Based on the story by Loren Eisley...

I awoke early, as I often did, just before sunrise to walk by the ocean's edge and greet the new day. As I moved through the misty dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion. I saw a youth, bending and reaching and flailing arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day soon to begin.

As I approached, I sadly realized that the youth was not dancing to the bay, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night's tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and then standing, to heave it back into the sea. I asked the youth the purpose of the effort. "The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea by themselves," the youth replied. "When the sun rises, they will die, unless I throw them back to the sea."

As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expanse of beach, strectching in both directions beyond my sight. Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the youth's plan became clear to me and I countered, "But there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you cannot expect to make a difference."

The youth paused briefly to consider my words, bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible. Turning to me he simply said, "I made a difference to that one."

I left the boy and went home, deep in thought of what the boy had said. I returned to the beach and spent the rest of the day helping the boy throw starfish in to the sea.

It's how you see it
Author Unknown

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet.  He had a sign which read: "I am blind. Please Help."  There were only a few coins in the hat.

When a man came walking by, he took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.  Then he took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words on the back.  He put the sign where it was, so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up.  A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. 

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were going.  The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning?  What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.  I wrote: 'Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.'"

Both signs told people the same thing... that the boy was blind.  But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.  The second sign told people they were extremely fortunate that they were not blind.  Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: 
Be thankful for what you have. 
Be creative.  Be innovative.  Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a reason to cry, show life that you have 100 reasons to smile.  Face your past without regret.  Handle your present with confidence.  Prepare for the future without fear.

Keep the faith and drop the fear... just remember God is Near!

Did you know ?
  • A snail can have about 25,000 teeth.  
  • A snail can sleep for 3 years.  
  • A snail can travel over a razor blade without cutting itself. 
  • A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph. 
  • A soccer ball has 32 panels.  
  • A speleologist studies caves. 
  • A Sphygmomanometer measures blood pressure.  
  • A spremologer collects trivia.  
  • A starfish can turn its stomach inside out. 
  • A queen bee lays about 1,500 eggs on an average day. 
  • A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.  
  • A rat can go without water longer than a camel can. 
  • A rattlesnake's fangs fold inward when its mouth is closed so it doesn't bite itself. 
  • A recent study indicates when men crave food, they tend to crave fat and salt. When women crave food, they tend to desire chocolate. 
  • A Red Giant(a kind of exploded star) has a lower density than any vacuum here on earth. 
Just for Laughs

The dead donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.  The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad  news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that.  I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."

The farmer said, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."

Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny, "Sure I can.  Watch me.  I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny,  "I raffled him off.  I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and
made a profit of $898."

Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny, "Just the guy who won.  So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron.

23 July 2017

posted 22 Jul 2017, 19:41 by C S Paul

23 July 2017

Quotes to Inspire
  • The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes. It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life. -- James L. Christensen
  • Life is an adventure in forgiveness. -- Norman Cousins
  • The fewer the words, the better the prayer. -- Martin Luther
  • Whatever makes men good Christians, makes them good citizens. -- Daniel Webster
  • I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but because I see everything by it. -- C.S.Lewis
  • To be like Christ is to be a Christian. -- Daniel Webster
  • The measure of a Christian is not in the height of his grasp but in the depth of his love. -- Clarence Jordan
  • A Christian is a keyhole through which other folk see God--Robert E. Gibson
  • We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon. - Jimmy Carter
  • "There's been nothing but discipline, discipline, discipline all my life.— Celine Dion, singer
  • "Without God there is no virtue because there is no prompting of the conscience ... without God there is a coarsening of the society; without God democracy will not and cannot long endure ... If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under." — Ronald Reagan
  • "The most important thing about goals is—having one." — Geoffry F. Abert
  • A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace." — Ovid, Roman poet
  • “People who are out to find fault seldom find anything else.” — Unknown
  • "Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition." — Abraham Lincoln
  • Christianity is not a theory or speculation, but a life; not a philosophy of life, but a living presence. -- Samuel Taylor 
  • Christian life consists of faith and charity. -- Martin Luther
Don’t Judge the Composer

Author Unknown

When visiting in a parish neighbourhood, a pastor stopped at a house and asked the man who lived there to visit his church the next Sunday, mentioning at the same time that the man’s neighbour went to that same church. 

On hearing this, the man said he would never go to that church because he wanted nothing to do with a religion that would have a man like his neighbour in it. In fact, he said, his neighbour was the worst neighbour he ever had.

The pastor, seeing that the man had a piano, asked the man’s young daughter if she would play a piece by Beethoven that was on the piano. 

The man said that Beethoven’s music was far too advanced for his daughter. 

Still the pastor insisted, and the girl gave it a try. Needless to say, she butchered Beethoven.

After the daughter was finished, the pastor said, “Boy, that Beethoven sure wasn’t much of a composer was he?”

On hearing this, the man suddenly understood that he, too, had been judging the music of Christian living by the player rather than by the composer.

Let us all try to be good players, but let us not judge the composer by the player.

God works in mysterious ways
Author Unknown

It was an unusually cold day for the month of May. Spring had arrived and everything was alive with colour. But a cold front from the North had brought winter's chill back to Indiana. I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the towns-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food."

My heart sank. I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways.

I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat half-heartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: "Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square." And so, with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner. I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store-front church, going through his sack. I stopped and looked, feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on.

The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor. "Looking for the pastor?" I asked. "Not really," he replied, "just resting."

"Have you eaten today?" "Oh, I ate something early this morning."

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

"Do you have some work I could do for you?"

"No work," I replied. "I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch."

"Sure," he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things. I asked some surface questions. "Where are you headed?"

"St. Louis."

"Where you from?" "Oh, all over; mostly Florida."

"How long you been walking?"

"Fourteen years," came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, "Jesus is The Never Ending Story."

Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona.

He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought. He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly.

He gave his life over to God. "Nothing's been the same since," he said, "I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now."

"Ever think of stopping?" I asked.

"Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me.

But God has given me this calling. 
I give out Bibles.

That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads."

I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: "What's it like?"

"What?"

"To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?"

"Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments.

Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me."

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, "Come, Ye blessed of my Father, and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in."

I felt as if we were on holy ground.

"Could you use another Bible?" I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It travelled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favourite. "I've read through it 14 times," he said. "I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see."

I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

"Where you headed from here?"

"Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon."

"Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?"

"No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next." He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission.

I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.

Would you sign my autograph book?" he asked.

"I like to keep messages from folks I meet."

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope."

"Thanks, man," he said. "I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you."

"I know," I said, "I love you, too."

"The Lord is good."

"Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?" I asked.

"A long time," he replied.

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, "See you in the New Jerusalem."

"I'll be there!" was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bed roll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, "When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"

"You bet," I shouted back, "God bless."

"God bless." And that was the last I saw of him. Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them. I remembered his words: "If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?"

Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry.

"See you in the New Jerusalem," he said.

Yes, Daniel, I know I will.

Shake It Off and Step Up

- Author Unknown

A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule ‘braying’ — or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. 

After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer felt sorry for the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. Instead, he called his neighbours together and told them what had happened and asked them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shovelling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back: he should shake it off and step up! 

This is what the old mule did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up… shake it off and step up… shake it off and step up!” he repeated to encourage himself.

No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought “panic” and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up! You guessed it! It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! 

What seemed like it would bury him, actually end up blessing him. All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

God created the teacher
Author Unknown

On the 6 th day, God created men and women. On the 7 th. day, he rested. Not so much to recuperate, but rather to prepare himself for the work he was going to do on the next day. 

For it was on that day - the 8 th day - that God created the FIRST TEACHER.

This TEACHER, though taken from among men and women, had several significant modifications. In general, God made the TEACHER more durable than other men and women. The TEACHER was made to arise at a very early hour and to go to bed no earlier than 11:30 PM with no rest in between.

The TEACHER had to be able to withstand being locked up in an air-tight classroom for six hours with thirty-five "monsters" on a rainy Monday. And the TEACHER had to be fit to correct 103 papers over Easter vacation. Yes, God made the TEACHER tough... but gentle, too. The TEACHER was equipped with soft hands to wipe away the tears of the neglected and lonely student... those of the sixteen-year old girl who was not asked to the prom.

And into the TEACHER God poured a generous amount of patience. Patience when a student asks to repeat the directions the TEACHER has just repeated for someone else. Patience when the kids forget their lunch money for the fourth day in a row. Patience when one-third of the class fails the test. Patience when the text books haven't arrived yet, and the semester starts tomorrow.

And God gave the TEACHER a heart slightly bigger than the average human heart. For the Teacher's heart had to be big enough to love the kid who screams, "I hate this class - it's boring!" and to love the kid who runs out of the classroom at the end of the period without so much as a "goodbye," let alone a "thank you."

And lastly, God gave the TEACHER an abundant supply of HOPE. For God knew that the TEACHER would always be hoping. Hoping that the kids would someday learn how to spell... hoping not to have lunchroom duty... hoping that Friday would come... hoping for a free day... hoping for deliverance.

When God finished creating the TEACHER, he stepped back and admired the work of His hands. And God saw that the TEACHER was good. Very Good! And God smiled, for when he looked at the TEACHER, he saw into the future.

He knew that the future is in the hands of the TEACHERS. 

Did you know ?
  • A SEAL's weapon of choice is the Heckler and Koch MP-5 submachine gun. 
  • A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.  
  • A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week.  
  • A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.  
  • A shrimp's heart is in its head.  
  • A single drop of water contains one hundred billion billion atoms. 
  • A single share of Coca-Cola stock, purchased in 1919, when the company went public, would have been worth $92,500 in 1997. 
  • A snail can actually glide over the sharp edge of a knife or razor without harming itself. This has something to do with the mucus it produces. 
  • A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.  
  • A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.  
  • A scientific report form the University of California found that the steam rising from a cup of coffee contains the same amounts of antioxidants as three oranges. The antioxidants are heterocyclic compounds which prevents cancer and heart disease. It's good for you!  
  • A scientist who weighed people immediately before and after death concluded that the human soul weighs 21 gms. 
  • A scrum in rugby is equivalent of a hockey face-off, except that it involves all playing the forward position on both teams. 
Just for laughs

A Prayer Upon Waking

Dear God, so far today, I've done all right. I have not gossiped, and I have not lost my temper. 

I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of that! But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help. 

Thank you! Amen. 
The Fall

A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet. 

He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something. 

HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? "HELP!" 

He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice. Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?" 

"Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!" 

"I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?" 

"Yes, but who are you, and where are you? 

"I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere." 

"The Lord? You mean, GOD?" 

"That's Me." 

"God, please help me! I promise if, you'll get me down from here, I'll stop sinning. I'll be a really good person. I'll serve You for the rest of my life." 

"Easy on the promises, Jack. Let's get you off from there; then we can talk." 

"Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully." 

"I'll do anything, Lord. Just tell me what to do." 

"Okay. Let go of the branch.""What?" "I said, let go of the branch. Just trust Me. Let go." 

There was a long silence. 

Finally Jack yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?" 

Author Unknown
 

16 July 2017

posted 14 Jul 2017, 22:33 by C S Paul   [ updated 14 Jul 2017, 23:56 ]

16 July 2017

Quotes to Inspire
  • We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies --Voltaire. -- Voltaire from Tentmakers 
  • We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-Oscar Wilde
  • Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein 
  • In all things it is better to hope than to despair.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • Hope is the dream of a soul awake.-French Proverb
  • He who has never hoped can never despair.-George Bernard Shaw
  • Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.-George Weinberg
  • No man is beaten until his hope is annihilated, his confidence gone. As long as a man faces life hopefully, confidently, triumphantly, he is not a failure; he is not beaten until he turns his back on life. - Orison Swett Marden
  • The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.- Allan K. Chalmers
  • We forgive to the extent that we love. -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
  • He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would reach heaven: for every one has need to be forgiven. -- Thomas Fuller
  • Life to me appears too short to be nursing animosity or registering wrongs. -- Charlotte Bronte
  • They who forgive most shall be most forgiven. -- Josiah Bailey
  • Good to forgive--Best to forget.-- Robert Browning
  • Life is an adventure in forgiveness. -- Norman Cousins
God and the Geese!
Author Unknown

There was once a man who didn’t believe in God, and he didn’t hesitate to   let others know how he felt about religion and religious holidays. His wife, however, did believe, and she raised their children to also have faith in God and Jesus, despite his disparaging comments.

One snowy Eve, his wife was taking their children to service in the farm   community in which they lived.    They were to talk about Jesus’ birth.  She asked him to come, but he refused that story is nonsense!” he said.

“Why would God lower Himself to come to  Earth as a man? That’s ridiculous!” So she and the children left, and he stayed home.    A while later, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a  blizzard. As the man looked out the window, all he saw was a blinding  snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening.

Then he   heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window. He looked out, but couldn’t see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a little, he ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his window. In the field near his house he saw a flock of wild geese. Apparently they had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn’t go on. They were lost and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the field in low circles, blindly and aimlessly.

A  couple of them had flown into his window, it seemed. The man felt sorry for the geese and wanted to help them. The barn would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It’s warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm. So he walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping they would notice the open barn and go inside.

But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and didn’t seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them. The man tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare them, and they moved further away. He went into the house and came with some bread, broke it up, and made a  bread crumb trail leading to the barn. They still didn’t catch on. Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them  toward the barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in ever  direction except toward the barn. Nothing he did could get them to go into the barn where they would be warm  and safe.

“Why don’t they follow me?!” he exclaimed “Can’t they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?” He thought for a moment and realized that they just wouldn’t follow a human “If only I were a goose, then I could save them,” he said out loud. Then he had an idea. He went into barn, got one of his own geese, and carried it in his arms as he circled around behind the flock of wild  geese. He then released it.

His goose flew through the flock and straight into the barn and one-by-one, the other geese followed it to safety. He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes  earlier replayed in his mind: “If only I were a goose, then I could save them!” Then he thought about what he had said to his wife earlier. “Why   would God want to be like us? That’s ridiculous!”

Suddenly it all made sense. That is what God had done. We were like the geese-blind, lost, perishing. God had His Son become like us so He could show us the way and save us. As the winds and blinding snow died down, his soul became quiet and pondered this wonderful thought.

Suddenly he understood why Christ had come. Years of doubt and disbelief vanished with the passing storm. He fell to his knees in the snow, and prayed his first prayer: “Thank You, God, for coming in human form to get me out of the storm.”

From "Bombay to Bangalore" by Sudha Murthy

Sudha Murty, chairperson, Infosys Foundation and author, is known for her ability to glean interesting stories from the lives of ordinary people and weave these narratives into a unique blend of anecdote and fable.

Her latest collection of stories, ‘The Day I Stopped Drinking Milk’, features a fascinating cast of characters, each of whom made an indelible impression on the author. Extracted here is a nugget from ‘Bombay (Now, Mumbai) to Bangalore (Now, Bengaluru)’, one of the most heartwarming stories in this collection:

It was the beginning of summer. I was boarding Udyan Express at Gulbarga railway station. My destination was Bangalore. As I boarded the train, I saw that the second-class reserved compartment was jam-packed with people. I sat down and was pushed to the corner of the berth. Though it was meant for three people, there were already six of us sitting on it…
The ticket collector came in and started checking people’s tickets and reservations.. Suddenly, he looked in my direction and asked, ‘What about your ticket?’ ‘I have already shown my ticket to you,’ I said.

‘Not you, madam, the girl hiding below your berth. Hey, come out, where is your ticket?’ I realized that someone was sitting below my berth. When the collector yelled at her, the girl came out of hiding.

She was thin, dark, scared and looked like she had been crying profusely. She must have been about thirteen or fourteen years old.She had uncombed hair and was dressed in a torn skirt and blouse. She was trembling and folded both her hands.. The collector started forcibly pulling her out from the compartment. Suddenly, I had a strange feeling. I stood up and called out to the collector. ‘Sir, I will pay for her ticket,’ I said. Then he looked at me and said, ‘Madam, if you give her ten rupees, she will be much happier with that than with the ticket.’

I did not listen to him. I told the collector to give me a ticket to the last destination, Bangalore, so that the girl could get down wherever she wanted.

Slowly, she started talking. She told me that her name was Chitra. She lived in a village near Bidar. Her father was a coolie and she had lost her mother at birth. Her father had remarried and had two sons with her stepmother. But a few months ago, her father had died. Her stepmother started beating her often and did not give her food. She was tired of that life. She did not have anybody to support her so she left home in search of something better.

By this time, the train had reached Bangalore. I said goodbye to Chitra and got down from the train. My driver came and picked up my bags. I felt someone watching me. When I turned back, Chitra was standing there and looking at me with sad eyes. But there was nothing more that I could do. I had paid her ticket out of compassion but I had never thought that she was going to be my responsibility!… One day, when I was in Delhi, I got a call from Chitra. She was very happy. ‘Akka, my company is sending me to USA! I wanted to meet you and take your blessings but you are not here in Bangalore.’.

Years passed. Occasionally, I received an e-mail from Chitra. She was doing very well in her career. She was posted across several cities in USA and was enjoying life. I silently prayed that she should always be happy wherever she was.

Years later, I was invited to deliver a lecture in San Francisco for Kannada Koota, an organization where families who speak Kannada meet and organize events. The lecture was in a convention hall of a hotel and I decided to stay at the same hotel. After the lecture, I was planning to leave for the airport. When I checked out of the hotel room and went to the reception counter to pay the bill, the receptionist said, ‘Ma’am, you don’t need to pay us anything. The lady over there has already settled your bill. She must know you pretty well.’ I turned around and found Chitra there.
------------
I told her to get into my car. My driver looked at the girl curiously. I told him to take us to my friend Ram’s place. Ram ran separate shelter homes for boys and girls. We at the Infosys Foundation supported him financially. I thought Chitra could stay there for some time and we could talk about her future after I came back from my tours.

I was not sure if Chitra would even be there. But to my surprise, I saw Chitra looking much happier than before. Ram suggested that Chitra could go to a high school nearby. I immediately agreed and said that I would sponsor her expenses as long as she continued to study. I left the shelter knowing that Chitra had found a home and a new direction in her life.

I got busier and my visits to the shelter reduced to once a year. But I always enquired about Chitra’s well-being over the phone. I knew that she was studying well and that her progress was good.. I offered to sponsor her college studies if she wanted to continue studying. But she said, ‘No, Akka. I have talked to my friends and made up my mind. I would like to do my diploma in computer science so that I can immediately get a job after three years.’ She wanted to become economically independent as soon as possible.. Chitra obtained her diploma with flying colours. She also got a job in a software company as an assistant testing engineer. When she got her first salary, she came to my office with a sari and a box of sweets.
-------------
She was standing with a young white man and wore a beautiful sari. She was looking very pretty with short hair. Her dark eyes were beaming with happiness and pride. As soon as she saw me, she gave me a brilliant smile, hugged me and touched my feet. I was overwhelmed with joy and did not know what to say. I was very happy to see the way things had turned out for Chitra. But I came back to my original question. ‘Chitra, why did you pay my hotel bill? That is not right.’ Suddenly sobbing, she hugged me and said, ‘Because you paid for my ticket from Bombay to Bangalore!’


Become a Lake
Author Unknown

The old Master instructed the unhappy young lady to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. “How does it taste?” the Master asked. “Very bad” Said the lady.
The Master then asked the young lady to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As the water dripped down the young lady’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?” “Good!” remarked the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master. “No,” said the young lady.

The Master said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into.

So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things…..
Stop being a glass. Become a lake!”

Love, Wealth & Success
Author Unknown

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men were sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?”, they asked.

“No”, she replied. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.”Go tell them I am home and invite them in!”

The woman went out and invited the men in” We do not go into a House together,” they replied. ”Why is that?” she asked.

One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added,”Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How n ice!!”, he said. ” Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?”
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

“Let us heed our daughter’s advice,” said the husband to his wife.”Go out and invite Love to be our guest .”

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.”

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?”

The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.
Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !”


Did you know ?
  • A horse can sleep standing up.  
  • A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.  
  • A male moth can smell a female moth from 100 yards away. 
  • A man and woman in Mexico city were engaged for 67 yrs and finally married at the age of 82 yrs. 
  • A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years 
  • A Manatee (Dugong) has very slow-clotting blood, and important in finding out about haemophilia. 
  • A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband. 
  • A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of its body.
  • A hippopotamus can run faster than a man can.  
  • A Holstein's spots are like a fingerprint or snowflake. No two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots. 
  • A honey bee must tap two million flowers to make one pound of honey 
  • A honey bee travels an estimated 43,000 miles to gather one pound of honey. A pound of honey consists of 29,184 drops. 
  • A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour.  
Just for laughs

Shhhhhh!

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Denomination?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." 

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Denomination?" 

"Lutheran." 

"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." 

A third man arrives at the gates. "Denomination?" 

"Presbyterian." 

"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." 

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different denominations, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" 

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Baptists are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here. 

Heavenly Rewards

An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise. 

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven." 

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "what are the green fees?". 
St. Peter said, "This is heaven, you play for free." 

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. 

"How much is it to eat?" asked the old man. 

"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied with some exasperation. 

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. 

St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven." 

After hearing that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. St. Peter and the wife both tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong. 

The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!" 


9 July 2017

posted 6 Jul 2017, 22:45 by C S Paul

9 July 2017

Quotes to Inspire
  • Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers. - Hans Christian Andersen
  • Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. -- Proverbs 3:5-6
  • There is no emptiness of soul ever for those whose life is devoted to God. -- William Lawson
  • A true love of God must begin with a delight in his holiness. -- Jonathan Edwards
  • Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on! hold fast! hold out! Patience is genius. -- Georges L.L. de Buffon
  • All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart, will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired. -- Martin Luther
  • God's greatness flow around our incompleteness; Round our restlessness, his rest.--Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • God is a good worker but loves to be helped. -- Basque Proverb
  • Earth, with her thousand voices, praises God. -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
  • God enters by a private door into every individual. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • It's only forgetting yourself that you draw near to God. -- Henry David Thoreau
  • In whatever direction you turn, you will see God coming to meet you; nothing is void of him, he himself fills all his work. -- Seneca The Younger
  • No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. -- John 4:12
  • One on God's side is a majority. -- Wendell Phillips
  • The stars rule men but God rules the stars. --Christoph Cellarius
  • All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • God helps the brave. -- Johann Christoph Freidrich von Schiller
  • True happiness is not found in any other reward than that of being united with God.-Thomas Merton
Don't forget to smile

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child.

Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child’s school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother’s car drove up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her.

“What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?”

The child answered, “I am trying to look pretty, God keeps taking my picture.”

May God bless you today as you face the storms that come your way.

Don't worry
Author Unknown

Years ago, I was enthralled as I listened to a pastor who for several years had faithfully served the church. His executive responsibilities had taken him all over this country. As he concluded his message, he told of one of the most frightening, yet thought-provoking, experiences of his life.

He had been on a long flight from one place to another. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: Fasten your seat belts. Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened."

As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us."

Then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying. The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.

Then, I suddenly saw a little girl. Apparently the storm meant nothing to her. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and every thing within her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity,when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid." The minister could hardly believe his eyes.

It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark,our pastor lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time. Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

The child replied, "'Cause my Daddy's the pilot, and he's taking me home."

There are many kinds of storms that buffet us:
• Physical,
• Mental,
• Financial,
• Domestic, and...
Many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and throw our plane into apparently uncontrollable movement. We have all known such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a darkened sky.

Let us remember... Our Father is the Pilot. He is in control and taking us home... so Don't Worry.

Dropped chalk

Unknown

There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God couldn't exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For twenty years, he had taught this class and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation. At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!"

In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can't do " it." And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.

Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor. He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought. Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped.

Finally, the day came. The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!! If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!"

He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man, and then ran out of the lecture hall.

The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.

Do you think I'll ever find God?

-- By Father John Powell

A TRUE STORY about an Atheist Theology Student Who Was Found by God

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy.

My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.

It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn’t what’s on your head but what’s in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped.

I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange... very strange. Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father-God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew.

When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a slightly cynical tone: "Do you think I’ll ever find God?"

I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.

"Oh," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing."

I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out: "Tommy! I don’t think you’ll ever find him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!" He shrugged a little and left my class and my life.

I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line: "He will find you!" At least I thought it was clever. Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful.

Then a sad report, I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted, and the long hair had all fallen out as a result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe. "Tommy, I’ve thought about you so often. I hear you are sick!" I blurted out.

"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It’s a matter of weeks."

"Can you talk about it, Tom?"

"Sure, what would you like to know?"

"What’s it like to be only twenty-four and dying?"

"Well, it could be worse."

"Like what?"

"Well, like being fifty and having no values or ideals, like being fifty and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real ‘biggies’ in life."

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under "S" where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification God sends back into my life to educate me.)

"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, " is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!) He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, ‘No!’ which surprised me. Then you said, ‘But he will find you.’ I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time." (My "clever" line. He thought about that a lot!) "But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, then I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven.

But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit.

Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn’t really care... about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: ‘The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.’ So I began with the hardest one: my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.

"Dad"...

"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper.

"Dad, I would like to talk with you."

"Well, talk."

"I mean... it’s really important."

The newspaper came down three slow inches. "What is it?"
"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that." Tom smiled at me and said with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him:

"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me.

And we talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me. It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years. I was only sorry about one thing: that I had waited so long. Here I was just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.

Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn’t come to me when I pleaded with him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, ‘C’mon, jump through. C’mon, I’ll give you three days... three weeks.’ Apparently God does things in his own way and at his own hour. But the important thing is that he was there. He found me.

You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for him."

"Tommy," I practically gasped, "I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He said, 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.’ Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing, it wouldn’t be half as effective as if you were to tell them."

"Oooh... I was ready for you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for your class."

"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call." In a few days Tommy called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it.

He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed.

He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined.

Before he died, we talked one last time. "I’m not going to make it to your class," he said.

"I know, Tom."

"Will you tell them for me? Will you... tell the whole world for me?"

"I will, Tom.  I’ll tell them.  I’ll do my best."

So, to all of you who have been kind enough to hear this simple statement about love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven:  I told them, Tommy... as best I could.

Did you know ?
  • A leech is a worm that feeds on blood. It will pierce its victim's skin, fill itself with three to four times its own body weight in blood, and will not feed again for months. Leeches were once used by doctors to drain "bad blood" from sick patients.  
  • A lions roar can be heard from five miles away.  
  • A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
  • A Horse has 18 more bones than a Human.  
  • A jellyfish is 95 percent water, and humans around 70% 
  • A jumbo jet uses 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off.  
  • A kangaroo can jump up to 3 meters high and leap up to 8 meters. 
  • A kangaroo can't jump unless it's tail is touching the ground.  
  • A large swarm of locusts can eat 80,000 tons of corn a day.  

Just for laughs

Better Than Einstein

At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister. As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein." Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!" 

As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday. 

The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday's comment about the sermon. The parishioner replied that he did. The minister asked: "Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?" 

The man replied, "Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire world could understand him. But Reverend, no one can understand you." 

Life After Death

Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. 

"Oh, well that's okay then!" said the boss. "Because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!" 

2 July 2017

posted 30 Jun 2017, 03:36 by C S Paul

2 July 2017

Quotes to Inspire


  • This world is God's workshop for making men in. -- Henry Ward Beecher
  • The whole of creation, with all of its laws, is a revelation of God. -Inge- Dean William Ralph 
  • Walk boldly and wisely....There is a hand above that will help you on. -- Philip James Bailey
  • Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, secretly all nature seeks God and works toward him. -- Meister Eckhart
  • "Nurture your mind with great thoughts for you will never go any higher than you think." — Benjamin Disraeli
  • "The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time." — Abraham Lincoln
  • "Life is a series of experiences, each of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward." — Henry Ford
  • "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."  Mother Teresa
  • "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."  Nelson Mandela
  • "The key is not to prioritize what is on the schedule, but to schedule your priorities." — Stephen Cove

Fruits of Labour (Hard Work)

There once lived a rich businessman who had a lazy and fun loving son. The businessman wanted his son to be-hard working and responsible. He wanted him to realize the value of labour.

One day he summoned his son and said: today I want you to go out and earn something, failing which you wont have your meal tonight.The boy was callous and not used to any kind of work. This demand by his father scared him and he went crying straight to his mother. Her heart melted at the sight of tears in her sons eye.

She grew restless. In a bid to help him she gave him a gold coin. In the evening when the father asked his son what he had earned, the son promptly presented him the gold coin. The father then asked him to throw it into a well. The son did as he was told.

The father was a man of wisdom and experience and guessed that the source of the gold coin was the boys mother. The nest day he sent his wife to her parents town and asked his son to go and earn something with the threat of being denied the night meals if he failed. This time he went crying to his sister who sympathized with him and gave him a rupee coin out of her own savings.

When his father asked him what he has earned the boy tossed the rupee coin at him. The father again asked him to throw it in a well. The son did it quite readily. Again the fathers wisdom told him that the rupee coin was not earned by his son. He than sent his daughter to her in-laws house. He again asked his son to go out and earn with the threat that he shall not have anything for dinner that night.

This time there was no one to help him out; the son was forced to go to the market in search of work. One of the shopkeepers there told him that he would pay him two rupees if he carried his trunk to his house. The rich mans son could not refuse and was drenched in sweat by the time he finished the job.

His feet were trembling and his neck and back were aching. There were rashes on his back. As he returned home and produced the two rupee note before his father and was asked to throw it into the well, the horrified son almost cried out. He could not imagine throwing his hard-earned money like this. He said amid sobbing. Father! My entire body is aching.

My back has rashes and you are asking me to throw the money into the well. At this the businessman smiled. He told him that one feels the pain only when the fruits of hard labour are wasted. On earlier two occasions he was helped by his mother and sister and therefore had no pain in throwing the coins into the well.

The son had now realized the value of hard work. He vowed never to be lazy and safe keep the fathers wealth. The father handed over the keys of his shop to the son and promised to guide him through the rest of the life.


Million Frogs


A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs!

The farmer replied, “There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs – millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!”

So the restaurant ownerand the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks. The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs.

The restaurant owner said, “Well… where are all the frogs?”

The farmer said, “I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise! 

Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it’s probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matthew 6:34)

A Tale of Two Seas

Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea.

As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!)

Its so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% – almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead sea. And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don’t seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas – I was intrigued.

urns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different. Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the sea of Galilee is home to over thirty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out – and that keeps the Sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give. Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don’t learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

f we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous.

Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth – and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don’t just get, you give too.

Open the taps. And you’ll open the floodgates to happiness.

Make that a habit. To share. To give.

And experience life. Experience the magic!


Blessed and Fulfilled Life


You were created by Almighty God to live a blessed and fulfilled life.

But so many people live far below the level of what God truly intends for them simply because they don’t see how it could happen.

But the truth is you have to believe before you are ever going to see something take place in the natural.

You have to look with your eyes of faith because the provision, healing and miracle that you need is already available in the supernatural realm.

You might say, “Well, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to look with my eyes of faith.”

The way you open your eyes of faith is by reading and meditating on the Word of God.

His Word deposits strength and faith inside you and illuminates your heart.

His Word causes your faith to grow so you can believe His promises.

And when you believe it, then you will see it because all things are possible for those who believe!

Today, feed your faith by meditating on His Word. Declare His promises over your life.

Keep moving forward with an attitude of faith and expectancy knowing that He has victory in store for your future!

Hebrews 11:3 says “By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible”.


Did you know ?

  • A full moon is nine times brighter than a half moon. 
  • A full-grown bear can run as fast as a horse.
  • A human being loses an average of 40 to 100 strands of hair a day. 
  • A human has a bone just after the spine ends, which helps proves that humans once had tails (possibly).  
  • A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it is been decapitated. 
  • A human's scent membrane in the nose is about the size of a postage stamp. A dog's is about the size of a handkerchief. It's olfactory lobe is also 4 times that of a humanThanx liz chell 
  • A humming bird flaps its wings up to 90 times in one second or over 5000 times a minute. 
  • A hummingbird weighs less than a penny
  • A five and a half year old weighing 250 pounds was exhibited at a meeting of the Physical Society of Vienna on December 4, 1894. She ate a normal diet and was otherwise in good health. The problem: she wasn't able to sweat. 
  • A flea can jump 350 times is own body length. (say..you jumping the length of a soccer field)thanx seraph 
  • A flock of sheep grazed during Woodrow Wilson's term. Their wool was sold to raise money for the Red Cross during World War I.  
  • A fly always jumps backwards for a quick getaway when you try to hit it. 
  • A fly hums in the middle octave, key F.  
  • A foal is a baby horse.  

Just for laughs

Old Bible

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. 

"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector. 

"Yes, that was it!" 

"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!" 

"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther." 

Trouble with mice

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away. The second Pastor then said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I've set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won't go away." With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said, "I had the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!!!" 

25 June 2017

posted 22 Jun 2017, 23:43 by C S Paul

25 June 2017

Quotes to Inspire
by unknown
  • If you learn only from your mistakes, you are inclined to learn only errors. 
  • Seek to do good, and you will find that happiness will run after you. 
  • The true way to soften one's troubles is to solace those of others. 
  • Kindness is like sugar, It makes life taste a little sweeter. 
  • Unhappiness is in not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
  • That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do it is increased- Ralph W. Emerson
  • The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it- Stanley Kubrick
  • Life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw
  • Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.
  • When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
  • I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.
  • Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
  • Never say, "oops." Always say, "Ah, interesting.
  • Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them.
  • We've all heard that we have to learn from our mistakes, but I think it's more important to learn from successes. 
Mount Everest
- Brian Cavanaugh

Sir Edmund Hillary was the first man to climb Mount Everest. On May 29, 1953 he scaled the highest mountain then known to man-29,000 feet straight up. He was knighted for his efforts.

He even made American Express card commercials because of it! However, until we read his book, High Adventure, we don’t understand that Hillary had to grow into this success.

You see, in 1952 he attempted to climb Mount Everest, but failed. A few weeks later a group in England asked him to address its members.

Hillary walked on stage to a thunderous applause. The audience was recognizing an attempt at greatness, but Edmund Hillary saw himself as a failure. He moved away from the microphone and walked to the edge of the platform.

He made a fist and pointed at a picture of the mountain. He said in a loud voice, “Mount Everest, you beat me the first time, but I’ll beat you the next time because you’ve grown all you are going to grow… but I’m still growing!”

The Rock
- Brian Cavanaugh

An old farmer had plowed around a large rock in one of his fields for years. He had broken several plowshares and a cultivator on it and had grown rather morbid about the rock.

After breaking another plowshare one day, and remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it.

When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he had to smile, remembering all the trouble that the rock had caused him over the years and how easy it would have been to get rid of it sooner.

The Touchstone
- Author Unknown

When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.

The book wasn’t very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the “Touchstone”!

The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.

So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.

He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold – throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.

The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about midafternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along, he still threw it away.

So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it’s asy to fail to recognize  an opportunity when it is in hand and it’s just as easy to throw it away.

Get Up
- Craig B. Larson

Bringing a giraffe into the world is a tall order. A baby giraffe falls 10 feet from its mother’s womb and usually lands on its back. Within seconds it rolls over and tucks its legs under its body. From this position it considers the world for the first time and shakes off the last vestiges of the birthing fluid from its eyes and ears. Then the mother giraffe rudely introduces its offspring to the reality of life.

In his book, “A View from the Zoo”, Gary Richmond describes how a newborn giraffe learns its first lesson.

The mother giraffe lowers her head long enough to take a quick look. Then she positions herself directly over her calf. She waits for about a minute, and then she does the most unreasonable thing. She swings her long, pendulous leg outward and kicks her baby, so that it is sent sprawling head over heels.

When it doesn’t get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again. The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby calf grows tired, the mother kicks it again to stimulate its efforts. Finally, the calf stands for the first time on its wobbly legs.

Then the mother giraffe does the most remarkable thing. She kicks it off its feet again. Why? She wants it to remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they’d get it too, if the mother didn’t teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.

The late Irving Stone understood this. He spent a lifetime studying greatness, writing novelized biographies of such men as Michelangelo, Vincent van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, and Charles Darwin.

Stone was once asked if he had found a thread that runs through the lives of all these exceptional people. He said, “I write about people who sometime in their life have a vision or dream of something that should be accomplished and they go to work.

“They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they get nowhere. But every time they’re knocked down they stand up. You cannot destroy these people. And at the end of their lives they’ve accomplished some modest part of what they set out to do.”

Did You Know ?
  • A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.  
  • A dragonfly is also known as "devil's darning needle", "horse stinger" and "devil's steelyard". 
  • A Fag is to work hard or to tire by strenuous activity and cigarettes are sometimes called Fags  
  • A dog can hear high frequency sounds, which a human ear cannot. 
  • A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule will not.  
  • A dragonfly can fly 25 mph. 
  • A fagot is a bundle of sticks or a bundle of pieces of wrought iron to be shaped by rolling or hammering at high temperature. 
  • A father Emperor penguin withstands the Antarctic cold for 60 days or more to protect his eggs, which he keeps on his feet, covered with a feathered flap. During this entire time he doesn't eat a thing. Most father penguins lose about 25 pounds while they wait for their babies to hatch. Afterward, they feed the chicks a special liquid from their throats. When the mother penguins return to care for the young, the fathers go to sea to eat and rest. 
  • A father sea catfish keeps the eggs of his young in his mouth until they are ready to hatch. He will not eat until his young are born, which may take several weeks.
  • A normal cow's stomach has four compartments: the rumen, the recticulum (storage area), the omasum (where water is absorbed), and the abomasum ( the only compartment with digestive juices). 
  • A notch in a tree will remain the same distance from the ground as the tree grows.  
  • A panagram is a sentence that contains all 26 letters of the English alphabet. For example: Pack my red box with five dozen quality jugs. 
  • A peanut is not a nut or a pea, it's a legume. 
Just for Laughs  

Parking Place
Unknown

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the wind shield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 100 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." 

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION." 

The Barber
Unknown 

There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door." 

Soon after he opened his shop the first man came in and said, "I want a shave!" The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen." 

Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?" 

18 June 2017

posted 15 Jun 2017, 23:29 by C S Paul

18 June 2017

Quotes to Inspire
  • love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. 
  • Doubt whom you will, but never doubt yourself. 
  • Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. 
  • Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great. Niccolo Machiavelli 
  • To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections. 
  • Think, what has this day brought me, and what have I given it? 
  • Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi 
  • The main cause for failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want at the moment. 
  • Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. 
  • I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr 
  • Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.
  • Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves. 
  • I look at what I have not and think myself unhappy; others look at what I have and think me happy. 
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
Hospital Windows

- Author Unknown

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Puppies for Sale

- Author Unknown

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies For Sale.” Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared by the store owner’s sign. “How much are you going to sell the puppies for?” he asked. The store owner replied, “Anywhere from $30-$50.”

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. “I have $2.37,” he said. “May I please look at them?” The store owner smiled and whistled, out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The store owner explained that the veteriarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. “That is the little puppy that I want to buy.” The store owner said, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll just give him to you.”

The little boy got quite upset. He looked into the store owner’s eyes, pointing his finger, and said, “I don’t want you to give him to me. That dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I’ll pay full price. In fact, I’ll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.”

The store owner countered, “You really don’t want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies.”

To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, “Well, I don’t run so good myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!”

The Fence
- Author Unknown

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.

Regret City

- Author Unknown

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. This is my annual “Guilt Trip.”

I got tickets to fly there on “WISH-I-HAD” airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my “baggage,” which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was loaded down with a thousand memories of “what might have been.” No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the “Last Resort” Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event — the annual “Pity Party.” I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the “Done” family; you know, “Should Have,” “Would Have” and “Could Have.” Then came the “I Had” family. You probably know old “Wish” and his clan. Of course, the “Opportunities” family; “Missed and Lost,” would be present. The biggest family there would be the “Yesterday’s.”

There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Of course, “Shattered Dreams” would surely make and appearance. “It’s Their Fault” family would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in their life. Each story would be loudly applauded by the “Don’t Blame Me” and “I Couldn’t Help It” committee.

To make a long story short, I went to this depressing party, knowing full well there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that this trip and subsequent “pity parties” COULD be cancelled by ME!

I started to realize that I did not have to be there. And I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as being encouraging.

Knowing this, I left Regret City immediately, and didn’t leave a forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no way to undo them.

So, if you’re planning a trip back to Regret City, please cancel all those reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a nice place called: “Starting Again.” I like it so much that I made it my permanent residence. My neighbors, the “Been Forgiven” and the “We’re Saved” are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around the heavy baggage anymore either. That load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. But don’t take my word for it, find out for yourself.

Did you know ?
  • Abraham Lincoln had to go across the street to the War Department to get news from the battlefield because there was no telegraph in the White House.  
  • Abraham Lincoln's ghost is said to haunt the White House. 
  • Acupuncture was first used as a medical treatment in 2700 BC by Chinese emperor Shen-Nung. 
  • Adding sugar to coffee is believed to have started in 1715, in the court of King Louis XIV, the French monarch.  
  • Adjusting for inflation, Cleopatra, 1963, is the most expensive movie ever made to date (mid-1999). Its budget of $44 million is equivalent to 270 million 1999 dollars. 
  • An average of 100 people choke to death on ball point pens each year. 
  • The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses. 
  • Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. 
  • About 10,000,000 people have the same birthday as you.  
  • About 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year. 
  • About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity. 
  • About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.  
  • About one-tenth of the earth's surface is permanently covered with ice. 
Just for laughs

Tuna

Seymour Schwartz was a good and deeply religious man. When Seymour passed away, God greeted him at the Pearly Gates. 

"Hungry, Seymour?" asked God. "I could eat," Seymour replied. So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of fresh rye bread and they shared it. 

While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, pastries and many fine wines. 

Curious, but deeply trusting, Seymour remained silent. 

The next day God again invited Seymour to join Him for a meal. Again, they ate tuna and rye bread. Once again looking down, Seymour could see the denizens of Hell enjoying caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles and chocolates. Still Seymour said nothing. 

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. Seymour could contain himself no longer. Meekly, he said: "God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread, whereas in that Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! Forgive me, Lord, but I just don't understand." 

God sighed and replied, "Let's be honest, Seymour. For just two people, does it pay to cook?" 

Copy Cat Liar

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. 

The message, "He's lying," was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

11 June 2017

posted 9 Jun 2017, 23:21 by C S Paul

11 June 2017

Quotes to Inspire

  • "The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. The just make the best of everything they have." – Unknown
  • "Football: A game where a whole group of big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while millions of people who really need the exercise sit and watch." – Unknown
  • "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away." – Unknown
  • "If football taught me anything about business, it is that you win the game one play at a time." – Fran Tarkenton
  • "The virtue of man ought to be measured, not by his extraordinary exertions but by his everyday conduct." – Blaise Pascal
  • "The best way to predict your future is to create it." – Erich Fromm
  • "Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe."– Winston Churchill
  • "A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction." – Rita Mae Brown
  • "If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality." – Bishop Desmond Tutu
  • "You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose." – Lou Holt
  • "We always have time for the things we put first." – Paul Johnson
  • "The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us." – Unknown
  • "It is not what you do to live, but what you live to do." – Unknown
  • "If you don't take a chance you don't have a chance." – Unknown
  • "Our doubts are traitors / And make us lose the good we oft might win / By fearing to attempt." – William Shakespeare
  • "Most battles are won [or lost] before they are ever fought." – George Patton, US Army general
Daddy’s Empty Chair
-- Author Unknown

A man’s daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two  pillows.

An empty chair sat beside his bed.

The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. “I guess you were  expecting me," he said.

“No, who are you?” said the father.

The minister told him his name and then remarked, “I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up,”

“Oh yeah, the chair,” said the bedridden man. “Would you mind closing the door?”

Puzzled, the minister shut the door.

“I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter,” said the man. “But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head. I abandoned any attempt at prayer,” the old man continued, “until one day, four years ago, my best friend said to me, ‘Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest...’”

‘Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It’s not spooky, because He promised, ‘I will be with you always.’ Then just speak to Him in the same way you’re doing with me right now.’”

“So, I tried it and I’ve liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I’m careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she’d either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm.”

The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.

Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.

“Did he die in peace?” the minister asked.

“Yes. When I left the house about two o’clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But, there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?”

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, “I wish we could all go like that.”

Can Anybody See God?
-- Author Unknown

A small boy once approached his slightly older sister with a question about God.

"Susie, can anybody ever really see God?" he asked. Busy with other things, Susie curtly replied: "No, of course not, silly. God is so far up in heaven that nobody can see him."

Time passed, but his question still lingered, so he approached his mother: "Mom, can anybody ever really see God?" "No, not really," she gently said. "God is a spirit and he dwells in our hearts, but we can never really see him."

Somewhat satisfied but still wondering, the youngster went on his way. Not long afterwards, his saintly old grandfather took the little boy on a fishing trip. They were having a great time together -- it had been an ideal day. The sun was beginning to set with unusual splendor as the day ended.

The old man stopped fishing and turned his full attention to the exquisite beauty unfolding before him.  On seeing the face of his grandfather reflecting such deep peace and contentment as he gazed into the magnificent ever-changing sunset, the little boy thought for a moment and finally spoke hesitatingly: "Granddad, I - I wasn't going to ask anybody else, but I wonder if you can tell me the answer to something I've been wondering about a long time. Can anybody, can anybody ever really see God?"

The old man did not even turn his head. A long moment slipped by before he finally answered. "Son," he quietly said. "It's getting so I can't see anything else."
---
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."

-- Psalm 19:1-4

Define What You Have In Mind
-- Author unknown

Have you ever heard the quote by Mark Twain "The world owes you nothing, it was here first?" A conversation I had today with one of my students got me thinking. Why does everyone think we're just entitled to success? The truth is...

You don't deserve anything.

Yet, you deserve to have it all.

Does that make sense? Two opposites, that at only the highest level of awareness - can you sit at both completely comfortable and content being in both realties. Because both are true. The world is unfortunately set up for your failure. All the odds are against you? But aren't there promises blatantly scribed in the worlds most ancient scriptures proclaiming we are and we become what we seek.

This isn't the Law of Attraction.

I'm not about the "woo woo" --- Really. I'm not!

Here's what I am saying. Today you have the option to become whatever you want. You have the option to design the life. And your current situation is the direct consequence by your design (or default) in the past.

And I'm talking about specifics.

My aunt and I were speaking yesterday about the power of prayer. Now, we may not have the same God (if you need one, I can introduce you to mine)... but I think we can both agree on the power of prayer.

A young man was telling a story in a book about how for months he prayed to God asking for a bicycle and a desk. Discouraged and in tears one night, this kid sought his God to question Him "Why are you forgetting me? I've been praying ever so diligently" God responded; "You've asked for nothing, I have no idea what bicycle you want, there are thousands of varieties...and you desk? How big? What color? Do you want a chair too?"

The boy stirred up his faith and his Design Cap and captured his dream bike and desk on paper. He wanted an American bike (was from Asia) and a desk made of Philippine mahogany. After some time in thought, he went back to sleep.

The best part of the story was a few months later he had the exact bike he wanted and the desk he longed for.

What do you want? Looking for a spouse? Have you clearly written down exactly what your ideal spouse looks like, sounds like, does for a living, their body type, race, occupation?

How about your dream business or clientele? I know for me, when I am designing my life - I don't ask for just "more customers" What kind of customers do you want? I want those that are absolutely in love with my product. That refer me their colleagues. Ones that will reorder religiously.

This works for everything!

Once things are clearly defined and you realize that as much as you are worth every bit to receive this (oh, and that's so important) now you have to set your sights on accepting it into your life.

There is nothing that will stomp on a dream or a vision or a plan than lack of faith and crossed arms. Open wide.

There is a common phrase we hear so often "Ask and you shall receive," but they sometimes leave out the next portion "Seek and you shall find."

The next step is to seek the information. Seek the prospects (business or romantic LOL!). To seek is to act. To act is to win.

Be a winner!
Buy The Milk
Author Unknown

A young man had been to Wednesday night Bible Study. The Pastor had spoken about "listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice."

The young man couldn't help but wonder, "Does God still speak to people?" After service he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways. It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray,"God, if you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey."
As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk. He shook his head and said out loud, "God is that you?" He didn't get a reply, so he started on toward home. But again, the thought came to him... buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel, and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli. "Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk." It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. So, he stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started toward home.

As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, "Turn down that street." This is crazy, he thought, and drove on past the intersection. Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street. At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh. Half jokingly, he said out loud, "Okay, God, I will".

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi-commercial area of town. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark, like people were already in bed.

gain, he sensed something, "Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street." The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat. "Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid."

Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk. Finally, he opened the door and said, "Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something but, if they don't answer right away, I am out of here."

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, "Who is it? What do you want?" Then the door opened before the young man could get away. The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep.

The man asked, "What is it?"

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk and said, "Here, I brought this to you," he said. The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway speaking loudly in Spanish. Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen.
The man was following following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face. The man began speaking and half crying, "We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk." His wife in the kitchen yelled out,"I ask him to send an angel with some. Are you an Angel?"

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put it in the man's hand. Then he turned and walked back toward his car and tears were streaming down his face. He knew then that God does still speak to people... and answer prayers.


Did You Know ?
  • A mark twain, a nautical measurement of depth, is equal to twelve feet. 
  • A McDonald's straw will hold 7.7 ml, or just over one-and-a-half teaspoons of whatever you are drinking.
  • A person who is lost in the woods and starving can obtain nourishment by chewing on his shoes. Leather has enough nutritional value to sustain life for a short time. 
  • A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks. 
  • A piano leg went through the floor of the white house in 1948 during President Truman's term.  
  • A hinny is the offspring of a female donkey. 
  • A googol is a 1 followed by 100 zeros. Mathematician Edward Kasner supposedly asked his nephew Milton Sirotta to suggest a name for the number, and he came up with this word.  
  • A grasshopper needs a minimum temperature of 62 degrees Fahrenheit in order to be able to hop.  
  • A group od geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group in the air is a skein. 
  • A group of crows is called a murder. 
  • A manned rocket can reach the moon in less time than it used to take to travel the length of England by stagecoach.  
Just for laughs

Why do doctors and lawyers call what they do practice?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on your radio?

Why is a boxing ring square?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How do they get the deer to cross the highway at those yellow signs?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Family Problems ?

Two men met recently and struck up a conversation. One was telling the other about some problems he was having with one of his kids.

After a while the other guy said, "You think you have family problems? Get a load of my situation. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson.

"Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife.

"I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather. Wow! You think you have family problems."!

I don't know about you, but now I'm utterly konfuzed with a capital "K"!

4 June 2017

posted 3 Jun 2017, 21:41 by C S Paul

4 June 2017

Quotes to Inspire
  • Happiness and self-confidence come naturally when you feel yourself moving and progressing toward becoming the very best person you can possibly be. Brian Tracy
  • True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.Antoine de Saint Exupery
  • We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about. Charles Kingsley
  • When people are deeply happy they bring a sense of purpose with them wherever they go, whatever circumstances they are in. So if they’re changing the oil in the car, they bring a sense of joyful purpose even to that. Marci Shimoff
  • If we can augment our gift giving by giving more of ourselves to those we love, all the time and in various ways, we will have a good chance of helping them and ourselves live happier, better lives. Earl Nightingale
  • The person born with a talent they are meant to use will find their greatest happiness in using it. -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • The happiness of one's own heart alone cannot satisfy the soul; one must try to include, as necessary to one's own happiness, the happiness of others.- Paramahansa Yogananda
  • To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. - Robert Muller
  • Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes.Thich Nhat Hanhvv
  • The greatest discovery of the 19th century was not in the realm of the physical sciences, but the power of the subconscious mind touched by faith. Any individual can tap into an eternal reservoir of power that will enable them to overcome any problem that may arise. All weaknesses can be overcome, bodily healing, financial independence, spiritual awakening, and prosperity beyond your wildest dreams. This is the superstructure of happiness. William James
From Russia with Love
Darlington

When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, the communications trade union for which I then worked received several delegations from the emergent nations and we ran courses for them on how market economies operated and how free collective bargaining was conducted. As is my practice when lecturing to foreign audiences, I had my visual aids translated into the vernacular, so I used overhead slides in Russian, although of course I spoke in English and had an interpreter.

I cannot read the cyrillic alphabet and know very little Russian, so I just worked through my slides in order. However, there came a point when I could tell from the statistical data on the latest slide that, for the previous ten minutes, I had been speaking to the wrong slide. British students would have pointed this out in seconds, but none of the Russians had said a word.

I was perplexed and asked why nobody had told me that I had been speaking to the wrong slide. Eventually one brave soul volunteered an answer and the interpreter translated: "In our country, no one challenges the teacher".

Virtually no Competition
by Gavin Newsham

While professional soccer is still struggling to find a firm foothold in the United States, in the 1970s the North American Soccer League marked the brave first attempt to introduce the game to American sports fans. While most teams had only limited success at best, one did manage to break through to genuine mainstream popularity - the New York Cosmos.

It was the brainchild of Steve Ross, a passionate soccer fan who was also a major executive at Warner Communications.

Max Ross told his son Steve: "In life there are those who work all day, those who dream all day, and those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfil those dreams. Go into the third category because there's virtually no competition".

All of the Mothers
Anonymous

This is for all the mothers who probably won't win Mother of the Year. All the runners-up and all the wannabes. The mothers too tired to enter or too busy to care. This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see my goal?" they could say, "Of course, wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK, honey, Mommy's here." This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night and can't find their children.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and made them homes. For all the mothers of the victims of the Colorado shooting, and the mothers of the murderers. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely. For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?

So this is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't. This is for reading "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year... And then reading it again, "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who mess up. Who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired 2-year-old who wants ice cream before dinner. This is for all the mothers who taught their daughters to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. For all the mothers who bite their lips - sometimes until they bleed - when their 14 year olds dye their hair green. Who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won't stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot. This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves. This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomachaches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse and hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for all of you.

Hang in there, and know that you are loved and needed.

"Home is what catches us when we fall - and we all fall."

The Little Wave
by Mitch Albom

The story is abut a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air - until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. "My God, this terrible", the wave says. "Look what's going to happen to me!"

Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him: "Why do you look so sad?" The first wave says: "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"

The second wave says: "No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean."


A True Story of Tragedy and Triumph
Author - Unknown

Brothers Michael and Chris were both born in the early 1960s and grew up in a mostly black neighborhood in Richmond, California, right outside of San Francisco.

Both boys were well behaved in school and brought home mostly A's on their report cards all through grade school.

But coming from a working-class family with eight children, money was always tight, so the boys often had to go without. In fact, things were so tight, the two growing boys were often hungry.

So they did what many boys do when they're hungry and have no food - they stole. From the time they were five until they were well out of high school, the boys stole. They stole crackers from the cupboard in the middle of the night... they stole cookies from the grocery store... and they stole sandwiches from the sandwich shop.

If it wasn't nailed down and was worth something, Michael and Chris would find a way to steal it. They even stole money from their parents from time to time. But more often than not, they stole to satisfy their hunger.

When it was time for Michael and Chris to attend high school, they were bused across town to Kennedy High School. It was during high school that something happened that made Chris decide to change his behavior. At the end of his freshman year in high school, Chris had received three A's and three F's on his report card - the first time he had failed anything in school.

Because Kennedy High School only allowed three failures over four years, one more F and Chris would be kicked out of school. That's when he made up his mind to change. Years later Chris would recall that defining moment in his life with these words:

"I sat outside my house at the beginning of that summer knowing that I was letting my chance slip away. One more F and I'd be just another high school dropout, hanging around the neighborhood, hoping to get on with the county or to get into the service.

"At the time I didn't know my brother Rusty would end up in prison... or that my brother Harold would die without having seen much of the world. I certainly didn't know what would happen to Michael. I only knew that I had to get out of there. I wanted to see San Francisco every day, to pick out my own clothes, drive my own car, and be whatever a man could hope to be, not just a black man, not just a man from the flats of Richmond. I wanted no limitations. I wanted to be whatever a man could hope to be."

Chris' decision to change his behavior wasn't an easy one. He took a lot of grief from his friends for choosing to excel in school, instead of squeaking by with C's and D's. But that decision to change took him in an entirely different direction from his brother Michael, who resisted changing his unproductive behavior.

Chris went on to graduate from high school... graduate from college... and graduate from law school. For 15 years he worked as a Deputy District Attorney in Los Angeles, California, prosecuting murderers, drug dealers, gang members and crooked cops. Today Chris is better known as Christopher. You probably recognize him by his full name - Christopher Darden, one of the lead prosecutors in the trial of the century, the O. J. Simpson trial!

What became of Christopher's brother, Michael? After high school Michael joined the army and returned to his hometown shortly after his tour of duty. Back in Richmond, Michael continued his pattern of anti-social behavior - hustling in the streets... and stealing to support himself and a growing drug habit. On November 29, 1995, Michael Darden died at the age of 42... from AIDS.

This story of triumph and tragedy serves to remind us that when it's all said and done, who we are and what we become is determined by the choices we make.

We can choose to get better... or we can choose to get bitter. Whether we make those choices to improve at age 14, like Christopher Darden... or at age 64, like Colonel Sanders, those choices have the power to dramatically increase our value in virtually everything we do.

That's what the saying "change... or be changed" is all about. Christopher Darden changed. He changed from being a criminal... to prosecuting criminals.

He changed his attitude from being angry and sullen... to being open and accepting.

He changed from an underachiever... to an honor student who took responsibility for his grades and his education.

He changed from a disillusioned teen-ager with low self-esteem... to an optimistic young man determined to turn his dreams into reality.

His brother Michael, on the other hand, was changed. He was changed by grinding poverty... he was changed by the code of the streets ... he was changed by illegal drugS... and finally, he was changed by an insidious disease.

Christopher Darden made the tough choices... he made the changes in his life that helped him accomplish his dreams.

His brother Michael, on the other hand, took the easy way out - or at least what he thought was the easy way out. He kept hanging around the same group of loser friends... he kept practicing the same self-destructive habits. As a result of the changes they did or did not make, both men chose their fates: Christopher chose to became a successful prosecutor. And Michael chose to become just another sad story of the streets.

The sobering truth is, "Either way, you pay!" The truth is the price that Michael paid for refusing to change was much higher than the price that Christopher paid for seeking to change.

I'd like to think that Michael didn't die in vain. I'd like to think that by hearing this story, some people will finally understand the profound importance of making positive, productive changes in their lives.

When it's all said and done, you have a choice.

You can choose to become Michael.

Or you can choose to become Christopher.

You can continue to do the things that will lead to frustration and unhappiness.

Or you can make the changes that help you get what you want most out of life.

Don't choose to become like so many people who COULD HAVE become a millionaire... or who COULD HAVE become happier... or who COULD HAVE become healthier... or who COULD HAVE made a contribution - but didn't. Start making the changes you need to make TODAY... so that you can become the person you want to become TOMORROW!

Just for Laughs

Money Goes To Church 


A well-worn ten rupee note and a similarly distressed hundred rupee note arrived at a Reserve Bank of India branch to be retired. As they were about to be burned, they struck up a conversation. 
       
The hundred rupee note  reminisced about its travels all over the county. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to New Delhi and Mumbai, the finest resorts in Goa performances  and even a cruises." 
       
"Wow!" said the ten rupee note. "You've really had an exciting life!" 
       
"So tell me," says the hundred, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" 
       
The ten rupee note replies, "Oh, I've been to the Syrian Orthodox Church , The Catholic Church, the CSI Church ...."
       
The hundred rupee note interrupts, "What's a church?"

From the Mouths of Babes

A mother was watching her four-year-old child playing outside in a small plastic pool half filled with water. He was happily walking back and forth across the pool, making big splashes. Suddenly, he stopped, stepped out of the pool, and began to scoop water out of the pool with a pail. 

"Why are you pouring the water out, Johnny?" the mother asked. 

"'Cause my teacher said Jesus walked on water, and this water won't work." The boy replied.

Did you Know ?
  • Weight of the eyeball ! The eyeball of a human weighs approximately 28 grams.
  • People generally read 25% slower from a computer screen compared to paper.
  • Do you know ,it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open !
  • And do you know ,it is impossible to hum while your nose is plugged close !
  • The largest number of people that fit in a smart car is 19. Pakistan crashers managed to do that at Defence Authority Creek Club in Karachi, Pakistan on December 10, 2010.
  • A human heart pumps enough blood to fill 100 swimming pools in an average lifetime.In the same time it will beat almost three billion times
  • While sleeping, one person out of every eight snores, and one in ten grinds his teeth
  • All babies are color blind when they are born ,so they only see black & white.
  • People with dark color skin wrinkle later than the people having light color skins!
  • Guess how many muscles are working when you take a step! Well, about 200 muscles are used when we take a single step!

28 May 2017

posted 27 May 2017, 03:20 by C S Paul   [ updated 27 May 2017, 03:21 ]

28 May 2017

Quotes to Inspire

  • The most important choice we make every day is whether we'll be happy or disgruntled about the life we live. Whatever we do, we always have that choice. Even the person working for a minimum wage at some fast food place has a choice about whether to enjoy her work and treat customers with a smile and a joyful presentation, or to be grumpy and begrudge every moment. While the low paying job is a fact, the attitude we choose is variable. - Marie T. Russell
  • Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out. - Jim Rohn
  • Life at any time can become difficult: Life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life. - Morarji Desai
  • There are enough genuine difficulties in life to encounter, don't allow your imagination to increase the number. - Neil Eskelin
  • Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards. - Soren Kierkegaard
  • Self-confidence comes naturally when your inner life and your outer life are in harmony. - Brian Tracy
  • My life is an indivisible whole, and all my attitudes run into one another; and they all have their rise in my insatiable love for mankind. - Mahatma Gandhi
  • "No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." — Unknown
  • "Vanity is the quicksand of reason." — George Sand
  • "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." — Jim Rohn
  • "The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life." — Brian Tracy
  • "Character: The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs." — Joan Didion

You Never Know

Author Unknown 

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend, my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father's death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life. 

When mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honor. What now, Lord? I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically while clutching his wife’s hand. My sister sat slumped against her husband’s shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child. 

All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone. My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord. My work was finished, and I was alone. I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears. He began to sniffle. I'm late, he explained, though no explanation was necessary. 

After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented. Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of Margaret? Because, that was her name, Margaret, never Mary. No one called her Mary, I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway? No, that isn't correct, he insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, Her name is Mary, Mary Peters. That isn't who this is. Isn't this the Lutheran church? No, the Lutheran church is across the street. Oh. I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Sir. 

The solemnest of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man’s mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me. He was laughing; too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit. I imagined Mother laughing. At the final Amen, we darted out a door and into the parking lot. I do believe we'll be the talk of the town, he smiled. He said his name was Rick and since he had missed his aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee. 

That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time. In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter. In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June, we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, “Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven.”

Nourishment 

Author Unknown 


If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! 

If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. 

If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope! 

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that t time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column. Much to the delight of the editor, it went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this... They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing....God is UP to something! 

Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! 

Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!  

Do the Just Suffer and Wicked Prosper? 

Author Unknown 

Rabbi Joshua Ben Levi fasted and prayed to God that he might be permitted to gaze on the prophet Elijah who had ascended alive into heaven. God granted his prayer, and Elijah appeared before him. 

“Let me journey with you in your travels through the world,” the Rabbi entreated Elijah; “let me observe your doings so that I may gain in wisdom and understanding.”

“No,” answered Elijah; “you would not understand my actions; my doings would trouble you. They are beyond your comprehension.” 

But still the Rabbi implored: “I will neither trouble nor question you; only let me accompany you on your way.”

“Come, then,” said Elijah; “but let your tongue be mute. With your first question, your first expression of astonishment, we must part company.”

So the two journeyed through the world together. They approached the house of a poor man, whose only treasure and means of support was a cow. As they came near, the man and his wife hastened to meet them, begged them to come into their house, eat and drink of the best they had and to pass the night under their roof. This they did, and they received every attention from their host and hostess. In the morning Elijah prayed to God that the cow belonging to the poor people should die, and the animal died. Then the travelers continued on their way.

Rabbi Joshua was amazed. “Why did you kill the cow of this good man?” he asked.

“Look, listen, and be silent,” Elijah replied; “if I answer your questions we must part.”

They continued on their way together. Toward evening they arrived at a large and imposing mansion, the residence of an arrogant and wealthy man. They were coldly received; a piece of bread and a glass of water were placed before them. They remained there during the night. In the morning Elijah saw that a wall of the house had collapsed and he immediately restored it.

Rabbi Joshua again was filled with wonder but said nothing, and they proceeded on their journey.

As the shades of night were falling they entered a city where there was a large and imposing synagogue. They went in at the time of the evening service and admired the rich adornments, the velvet cushions, and gilded carvings of the interior. After the service, the president arose and called out: “Who is willing to take these two poor men to his house?” None answered, and the traveling strangers had to sleep in the synagogue. In the morning, however, Elijah shook hands with the members of the synagogue and said: “I hope that you may all become presidents.”

Next evening the two entered another city. The sexton of the synagogue came to meet them and notified the members of the congregation of the coming of the two strangers. The best hotel of the place was opened to them, and all showed them attention and honor. On parting with them, Elijah said: “May the Lord appoint, but one president over you.”

Rabbi Joshua could resist his curiosity no longer. “Tell me,” he said to Elijah, “tell me the meaning of all these actions which I have witnessed. To those who have treated us coldly you have extended good wishes; to those who have been gracious to us you have made no suitable return. Even at the risk of parting, please explain to me the meaning of your acts.”

Elijah explained: “We first entered the house of the poor man who treated us so kindly. Now it had been decreed that on that very day his wife should die. I prayed the Lord that the cow might die instead. God granted my prayers, and the woman was saved.

The rich man, whom we visited next, treated us coldly and I rebuilt his wall. For had he rebuilt it himself, he would have discovered a treasure which lies underneath.

To the members of the synagogue who were not hospitable I said: ‘May you all be presidents,’ and where many rule there can be no peace. But to the others I said: ‘May you have but one president’; with one leader, no dissension will arise.

Now, if you see the wicked prospering, be not envious; if you see the righteous in poverty and trouble, be not doubtful of God’s justice.”

With these words Elijah disappeared, and Rabbi Joshua Ben Levi was left alone.

One Day

Author Unknown 

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. 

His name was Kyle. 

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 

I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? 

He must really be a nerd.' 

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. 

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. 

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. 

As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.’ 

They really should get lives. 

'He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. 

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends and he said yes. 

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. 

I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! 'He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. 

He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. 

I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. 

He was one of those guys that really found him-self during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous and today was one of those days. 

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 

'Thanks,' he said. 

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. 

'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years; Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but mostly your friends. 

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. 

I am going to tell you a story.' 

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. 

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 

'Thankfully, I was saved. 

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' 

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. 

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life - for better or for worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. 

Look for God in others. 

Did you Know ?

  • The world’s worst city to drive in is Manila. Terrible roads, endless traffic and a disregard for stopping at red lights make this place truly awful for driving.
  • The most expensive city in the world to park in is London. Parking in central London can cost up to £578.87 per month. Plus you’ll have to pay the congestion charge just to get there.
  • The first electric car was built in 1891 by William Morrison. However, the increasingly popular electric cars fell out of favor once Henry Ford introduced the gas-powered Model T in 1908. The years 1899 and 1900 were the high point of electric cars in America, as they outsold all other types of cars. One example was the 1902 Phaeton built by the Woods Motor Vehicle Company of Chicago, which had a range of 18 miles, a top speed of 14 mph and cost $2,000. Later in 1916, Woods also invented a hybrid car that had both an internal combustion engine and an electric motor. Sound familiar?
  • The term “General Purpose Vehicle” or a G.P.  was used as a designation for the popular four wheel drive vehicle used during World War II. A popular character introduced in the Popeye comic strip series in 1936 named “Eugene the Jeep” was what influenced the term, and the only sound that Eugene made was “jeep“.  This connection made the new term stick and pushed it quickly into common usage.
  • Hong Kong is the city with the most Rolls Royce’s per capital. Hong Kong has historically been the city which has had the maximum number of luxury cars per capita in the world. In fact, the city-state of Hong Kong is considered to be the largest metropolis for luxury goods and status symbols in the world.
  • In 1898 the Panhard et Levassor cars came equipped as standard with steering wheels. The idea caught on and similar systems sparked across the world.  By 1899, the steering wheel arrived in the  US, where Packard introduced the steering wheel on one of its models. By the time the Model T arrived, the steering wheel was an essential part of the car.
  • The first traffic lights were installed on December 10th, 1868 to control the traffic in front of the British Houses of Parliament in London. The design combined three semaphore arms with red and green gas lamps for night-time use, on a pillar, operated manually by police constable. The gas lantern was turned with a lever at its base so that the appropriate light faced traffic. Although it was said to be successful at controlling traffic, its operational life was brief. It exploded on 2 January 1869, as a result of a leak in one of the gas lines underneath the pavement. With doubts about its safety, the concept was abandoned until electric signals became availabl
Just for Laughs

 A Joke Backfires

A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. 

One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. 

The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. 

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woman that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air in the room. After standing there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!" 


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